Posts Tagged ‘AA’

Graphics Designer, final final final PDF

Posted: September 27, 2010 in Uncategorized
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Well here it is September 27th 2010, well past the two weeks I thought it would take for me to finish the book, and I’ve finally come to terms with the final pdf… books4free has uploaded to Lightning Source, where we’ll be selling the hard copy prints, and since we’ll be marketing from the books4free.com website, to amazon, smashwords, and the like, I suppose we’ll just distribute all digital copies for free, and hope that it sells more hard copy books… We’ll see I suppose…

It’s been a long road, and now I’m just exhausted and hope the book isn’t terrible.

JB Smith

Smashwords release, awaiting font changes:

Posted: September 7, 2010 in Uncategorized
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So we have republished on smashwords, and for now have the price set at 9.95, as we’re not trying to push the digital copy just yet, but am just holding steady as we await the publication for hard copy, via Lightning Source. My web designer, slash graphics designer, has the final manuscript, and has to touch every single individual page in order to make the font right for Lightning Source. A  bit of a pain in the ass and another expense I didn’t see coming, in this learning curve I could have never anticipated. I wonder how much I would have saved using an independent publisher, rather than trying to do everything all myself.

Oh well, such is life, and now we wait. Still I love the cover, the final edited book, and hopefully, I’ll sell a few copies, and recoup at least some of the expenses, energy and effort, as we get closer to a launch.

There are much better memoirs, and MUCH MUCH better thorough detailed 12 step based books, but I look at this as an idiots or dummy guide to the 12 steps, if someone as lazy, slow and burnt out as me can do them, defeat alcoholism, drug addiction, Hep C, Interferon, and family crises, than truly anyone can do it.

I also one day hope to change the names to the originals, but would have to go back and get individual signatures for all the as of now anonymous characters. One day, when there is more time, I plan on doing that. Until then, it’s still a good book, chronicling a true story, just with different alias’s. Hope you enjoy.

Jared Bryan Smith

Self Publishing; Lightning Source; Learning the hard way.

Posted: July 2, 2010 in Uncategorized
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Do you know the difference between Perfect Bound, Case Laminate, or Dust Jack on Grey cloth, when it comes to books. Well at $80 a change, you had better figure it out. Also, unless you are your own graphics designer, make sure you use the lightning source cover template generator, lest you submit, only to find your specs are way off. And once you figure out what the above definitions mean, rest assured, you’ll have to change that cover. God willing, you have a patient graphic designer, or a ton of patience yourself, because learning all the ways of self publishing is certainly a challenge. Also its good if you go to meetings with your publisher who is using your book to launch his site, otherwise this shit would have been expensive as hell.

Ultimately though, I’m grateful books4free.com is learning the ropes with the book Hippopotamus Sea, as the next book will surely be easier.

I’ve already got a lead on a soldier coming back from war interested in publishing his memoirs. I hope to prove my method works with Hippopotamus Sea, so I can then persuade others to submit books to books4free.com.

Until then we’ll just keep learning the ropes. Almost two years in the making my book still feels a few weeks out, while I await the final changes (hopefully) from the graphics designer… argh… Some days I wish I’d just used Lulu, or Authorhouse, rather than doing all this shit myself…. Hell even Dan Poynter couldn’t have prepared me for all of this hoop jumping.

-JB Smith

Dead Parents, Living Amends…

Posted: May 31, 2010 in Uncategorized
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My mom died of Cancer in 2004, and 6 years later, I have 3.5 years sober, and owed her an amends. Not the kind one can make in person though, but a living amends. As I was advised, a letter.

For several reasons I document in the book it took me no less than 5 tries to get to her headstone and be able to sit and write for a couple of hours. Having finished the amends, it felt anti-climatic, if not a touch depressed.

Though I cleared the Hep C virus in 2008, and went 6 months without treatment, was then tested, found negative and thus declared Hep C negative, I went and got another test on Friday, just to be sure as I go to publish with the book, in the next few weeks, and it would be nice to say it’s been 2.5 years without the virus, instead of just that six month test. I guess what I’m saying is that I’m nervous about that test, regardless of being pronounced cured 2 years ago, and that visiting my moms grave, after 6 years of absence was more than a little emoti0nally taxing.

Visiting my Dad’s grave, who shot himself with a .357 when I was 11 years old, was usually filled with more anger, and self righteousness, than visiting my moms, which brought up guilt and depression. Oh well. I’m sure I’ll get good news next week from the gastroenterologist, finish typing up the amends, and thus the end of the book, get the cover back from the graphics designer, and launch the site books4free.com finally as I’ve been patiently awaiting the finalized book to launch, and I’ll have accomplished a goal I set in motion over 10 years ago, I never knew would have taken me down this road, facing Hepatitis C, alcoholism, addiction, Alcoholics Anonymous, and living life on life’s terms, but here we are.

Life is an adventure I suppose. The living amends to my mom is good, I believe it ties the book up nicely. I’m glad I did it, but it was damn emotionally taxing, like most of the book. Reminds me of a quote I read about writing years ago.

“Writing is easy; I just open a vein and bleed.”
— Red Smith

Funny I could have sworn that quote included a typewriter. Damn google, it’s probably a misquote, feel free to respond with the original origin, but you get the gist.

– JB Smith

Hep C, New Treatments – Dr. John Hutchinson, MD Duke University

Posted: May 27, 2010 in Uncategorized
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So, as we get ready to launch books4free.com with my book about surviving interferon treatment, I happen to stumble across a link to a potentially better, and hopefully easier way of defeating Hepatitis C.

http://www.anadyspharma.com/products_in_development/ANA598.html

I guess it’s still in Phase II, and I won’t pretend to know what that means, but it actually is being lead by the Duke Doctor who replied to me while I was going through treatment. His website and comments gave me some hope as I was finishing up the treatments in Spring of 2008.  I also just happened to stumble across another article mentioning a third drug, on top of the ribivirn, interferon treatments, that increases the odds of being cured even more… called telaprevir. Very hopefully, interesting stuff. I went to a Hep C funeral last week, so if they could improve the cure ratios above 50% it would mean a lot to a lot of people.

http://www.wral.com/lifestyles/healthteam/story/7386301/

This definitely tempts me to talk to this Dr. some before releasing the final version of the book, as anything I can add to give hope or information to Hepatitis C sufferers is an asset to the book…. just when you think you’re finished huh…

Oh well, a little more research and work couldn’t hurt the overall success of the book long term, and this is just too exciting of news not to include. Looks like they were preleminary trials but still, worth writing about!

Additionally found this older article:

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/06/090605112257.htm

Worth reading, hopeful stuff!!!!

-JB Smith

Ultimate Purpose of a book chronicling addiction, Interferon, and Hepatitis C Struggles

Posted: May 21, 2010 in Uncategorized
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After two effing years of working on a book, my dumbass originally estimated would take two weeks to complete, you better believe you occasionally wonder if the thing is worth a damn, or just an inflated ego tauting rambling pile of turds.

But the original reason I began writing it was to hopefully give witness to my story of recovery, of getting sober, finding out I was Hep C positive, and then staying sober, navigating the waters of meetings, weekly interferon shots, ribavirin and the hell the was the 48 week treatment of Interferon. Ultimately I wrote this book for people that may have to go through the same process, as surely I didn’t have a monopoly on contracting Hep C and then getting sober.

Last night as fate, God, or Zeus would have it, a close friend of mine turns out is facing the exact same challenges. With a natural aversion to Alcoholics Anonymous, and little to no hope of beating both addiction and Hepatitis C, I can at least give him my book, allow him to read that it can be done, and not just by some stranger, but my someone he knows, and hopefully walk away with a little bit of purpose, direction, clarity, and the Universe willing, some hope.

Even if the book gets racked against the coals, crucified in reviews, and shat on in the public eye, if it seriously helps one Hep C sufferer get through the hellish year of Interferon Treatment it will have served it’s purpose.

The Henry David Thoreou quote helps as well. To paraphrase, “Write as though you’re writing to far away relatives” and in that you preserve the truth, and allow your writing not to be hampered by what others may think.

I really pray this book reaches out to sufferers of addiction, Hep C, and the families of those suffering both of those fatal diseases, and offers some strength, hope, reality and a couple of smiles, and therefore, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of my book.  It came from the heart, and is a success, regardless of whether it sells 10 copies or 10000000, because it is my true story of victory over alcoholism, Hep C, selfishness (a continuing battle) and of course the darker side of my human nature.

I stand a changed man at 3.5 years sober, and I owe a huge debt of gratitude towards AA. Though my father and many friends have lost to the disease of addiction, AA has saved many lives, including my own, and I’m grateful.

It was good to be able to point a friend toward the book, it put it all into perspective. I don’t wish the Hep C on him of course, but I’m glad I’ve already blazed the trail through hell for him to follow, as well as chronicled every step. I hope it helps more than just him.

-JB Smith

ugh, becoming a non-smoker and such

Posted: August 14, 2009 in Uncategorized
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So after a year of interferon treatments for Hep C I was still in almost constant pain after a year of not taking the poison. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful that it worked and all, the Hep C is gone, etc. but man headaches for a full year after the even more brutal year of treatment was no fun. In an effort to isolate the cause of the headaches I decided to become a non-smoker, as my sponsor told me to tell myself. So far so good, but damn, I wasn’t prepared for the massive headcold that apparently accompanies one’s efforts to quit smoking cigarettes. Jesus, I mean it hits you hard and fast. Three days after I became a non smoker my head was one massive lot of gunk. To combat this I ended up taking some Sudafed, and not the pussy kind they sell over the counter, the kind that actually works, where I have to provide my ID, swear I’m not making meth, etc. Good lord, I don’t know if I’m just ubersensitive to pseudophedrine or what, but I felt like I was on the bad side of a coke binge for the entire time I was on the sudafed, for like 3 days. I ended up taking it Tuesday, 2 pills, Wednesday 2 pills, and then Thursday, it was the worst day I’ve had in almost 3 years of sobriety. I woke up, chewed a bunch of nicorette on the way into work, and took my 2 sudafed, but around 2 pm or so rememebered we had dinner plans with the CEO of our company at 7 pm at his Mansion in Buckhead, the ritzy part of Atlanta GA, down the street from the Governer’s mansion. So, being the genius I am, I figured I would need to take more sudafed. I took an additional 2 at 2 pm, and then again at 6 pm or so, and low and behold, by the time they sat me next to the boisturous and dynamic CEO of our firm, I felt like I was wired, like it was the tail end of a 3 day coke or meth binge. It’s been 3 years since I’ve even had a sip of alcohol, and man, that’s the most fucked up I’ve felt in that time. I prayed about it, got through it all, went to a group conscience after dinner, and swore off Sudafed for life.

After I slept it off, I actually woke up with a low grade headache, not unlike what I remember a hangover to be like. What the hell is pseudophedrine anyway, that by changing a few molecules it turns into meth. How the hell did they sell that shit over the counter for so many years, its insane. Does it have some opiate or amphetamine derivative. Man there is something behind the chemical make up of that shit that relates poorly to an ex drug addict, and it should be studied, I’ve not felt worse in my entire sobriety, and people should understand that chemical relationship. I know normal people, or Earth people, don’t have that same reaction to sudafed, so why does it make me feel so cracked the hell out? Weird stuff.

I may have a headache today, but I don’t care, I’m never taking Sudafed, Claritin D, or anything with pseudophedrine again. My chemical make up is too sensitive, and maybe I did that after years and years of abuse, alternating chemicals and what not, but there is nothing worth those side effects in a recovered alcoholic like me.

Still no smokes though. Day 7, at 5:00 it will have been a week! Woot! I remember when I started smoking 20 years ago thinking, I wonder what it’s like to be addicted to something. Well, I’ve been addicted to everything under the sun since that philosophical juggernaut, and can honestly appreciate, that I no longer underestimate, my lack of power when it comes to addiction. At least now I know though, and at 32 can move forward from this, and make better choices. 7 days is a good start to no cigarettes, just follow the instructions, 3 months on the 4 mg, 3 months on the 2 mg, and then stop, all the while working up your cardio and exercise capabilities so that when you do ultimately quit the nicotine completely you have an outlet in exercise. Not to mention, get rid of the 30 lbs of gut I gained when I quit  drinking. Haha, people say they’d expect you lose weight when you quit drinking. Not when you drank like I drank. I was down to 140 on a Crown Royal and amphetamine diet, and I’m 5’7″, so I needed the weight back. Just probably not 30 lbs of it. haha! Life is good, anyone can start over.

-JB Smith

books4free.com 10 year birthing pains

Posted: August 10, 2009 in Uncategorized
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Wow, so this is my first bloggage activity, and I’ve yet to see how this process works, so for all I know I’m writing in the subject line right now. It’s been a long day, I’m an executive recruiter by day and a writer by night, but also trying to finish the editing, and ultimately the publishing of my book through the website and publishing company books4free.com . Hippopotamus Sea is the name of the book, and it’s about the journey of my life. From being born into an abusive alcoholic, albeit, upper middle class, family in the late 1970’s, watched my Dad’s progressive disease as he spiraled downward from drinking Budweiser on a daily basis, to pina colodas, to chugging vodka straight from the bottle, and ultimately on August 22, 1989, putting a .357 to his head and blowing his head off.

I led an intense and crazy adolescent life, flirting with LSD, pot, cocaine, and of course my love, drinking, followed the Dead a little, sold drugs, went in and out of Juvenile Detention in downtown Atlanta where Judge Hatchett would scold me and let me go from time to time, until dropping out of school and dealing drugs, a gun was put to my head, both literally and figuratively. My girlfriend got pregnant, and then while she was 8 months pregnant a gun was put to my head to rob me of the cash I’d brought to a drug deal.

Longer story than can be blogged, eventually bought books4free.com in an early attempt to publish ebooks in 1999, that he’d written about Big Brother and the other wild conspiracy theories he’d floated about in his fragile little mind. I met in the rooms of AA and our stories were so similar we decided to work together.

Bertelsmann offered 20k in 2000 but I declined. Instead, got married, then divorced, and my addictions got worse and worse until I was doing my dying mothers fetinol patches. Once she died, I switched to heroin in one fateful evening, that would ultimately give me Hep C and cause my liver to start failing. I quit the heroin and all opiates after that night, but I continued to drink and things got worse and worse.

I lost my mind. I thought I had a microchip in my ankle, I thought I was an undercover CIA operative, and I was certain I was in hell when alcohol quit working for me in August of 2006.

I went to AA, I believed I was in hell, and my soul would ignite at any moment. I wrote a detailed book about the entire experience, my entire life leading up to that crossroads, and the journey of beating Hep C afterwards, and staying sober, etc.

With 2.5 years of real sobriety now, I’m trying launching the book, putting the final editing touches on the book Hippopotumus Sea and I believe I’m getting close, though the international slowdown in the economy is certainly not helping my progress any.

Oh well, such is life, as Miley says with all her years of wisdom, there is always going to be another hill to climb, always gonna be an uphill battle. Haha, I’m delirious. Day 3 without a cigarette, but it’s all good, I’m sure this too shall pass.

The dynamics of books4free.com will be this:

An unpublished author like myself will be able to post his/her entire book online for free, available to read, but not for download or print, but if they like it, and want to buy the hardcopy they’ll be able to purchase it through the site as well, or purchase the MP3 audio, or of course the ebook, which thanks to Sony, no longer is a monopoly through the kindle. The site, books4free.com, will offer authors the most money back of any self publishing avenue out there, and with the domain as obvious as it is, we will hopefully attract many readers, so that the cream will rise, and the books that aren’t amazing, will fall by the way side. That way when it becomes evident we have a successful writer on our hands, we will be able to act as a literary agent to the traditional brick and mortar publishing houses, and sign our authors up. We will charge less that lulu, iuniverse, or authorhouse, because we’re in it for the authors, not the vanity publishing revenue dollars.

We truly just want great works to be read, without the wall of traditional publishers from blocking them. Emily Dickinson died with 1000’s of pages of works in her attic. This is a place for writers to publish, and be discovered, without being charged an arm and a leg for cover design work, additional editing, consulting, etc. Vanity publishing sells to just that , the egos and vanity of writers, which I assure you can be quite large, but books4free.com and booksforfree.com will be for finished product, to be posted, and viewable for the public to read and judge on their own.

God willing, it won’t take another 10 years to launch anyway. Sometimes when I make plans, God laughs!

– JB Smith

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