Posts Tagged ‘Hepatitis C’

So the momentum is beginning to slow down as the facebook crowd who were awaiting books, are now reading rather than ordering I suppose. At the peak the book was in the Top 100 Alcohol and Recovery books, ranking at #67, but unfortunately I don’t know how many books that is in that given hour. On the overall ranking it’s maxed out at 32,000, which isn’t bad considering there are millions of books on Amazon, but now that it’s back in the 100-200k range, I’m scared to see where it will be in a week. Moving forward reviews, word of mouth, emails, and networking will be more influential than facebook. Guess I need to start sending to reviewers.

The book chronicles being born into alcoholic family, rebelling, dosing LSD/Acid very young, and raising hell through his teenage years, stealing, running away, wrecking cars you name it, until he finally settles down however briefly to have a son, and play family for a few years, however poorly the execution. After divorce at 22 he picks up where he left off, raising cane again, and really doesn’t even begin to slow down as his mom lies dying of cancer. After she’s gone his drinking takes on new sincerity and the challenge I really took on is towards the end of the book where I do my best to explain madness and insanity, delusions, and paranoid schizophrenia to the normal, “earth” person as we recovered alcoholics refer to the unafflicted. It’s hard to explain the color red though to a blind man, and I wonder if anyone will understand the enormity of my massive, intricate, detailed derangement. All I could do was try and explain how lost I’d gotten, how lost I stayed for so long, and how far I’d come back. It’s not a short journey, but given the number of people, just in our class of 1996, that are now dead to alcoholism, addiction  or something related, it’s a story worth reading, and worth understanding, as the solution, the 12 Steps of AA, can work on really any spiritual malady, but most especially addiction.

If the AA 12 Steps could work on me, who went to the edge of the abyss, looked in and had the abyss stare back in, invade and pay rent for years, it can seriously work on anyone. I really wrote the book I wish I’d read when I went to pick up a Million Little Pieces by James Frey. I wanted some hope, I wanted a story as dark as mine, detailed and honest, and messy with guts and humiliation, and something bigger than myself. When I lived that firsthand, I felt it was worth writing, and though a little long, as I’m beginning to hear back, it’s worth the read. If you think it’s long reading, thank God you didn’t live it!

-Jared Bryan Smith


Well here it is September 27th 2010, well past the two weeks I thought it would take for me to finish the book, and I’ve finally come to terms with the final pdf… books4free has uploaded to Lightning Source, where we’ll be selling the hard copy prints, and since we’ll be marketing from the books4free.com website, to amazon, smashwords, and the like, I suppose we’ll just distribute all digital copies for free, and hope that it sells more hard copy books… We’ll see I suppose…

It’s been a long road, and now I’m just exhausted and hope the book isn’t terrible.

JB Smith

Just put down the Fortune magazine in which I saw that Blurb.com is doing 45 million in revenues already. Good for them, that definitely shows this small publishing market continues to grow and thrive. God willing Books4free.com will enjoy just a bit of that success, as it launches with my first title, Hippopotamus Sea.

The cover is done, the editing is done, and the publisher I understand now awaits the Proof book from LightningSource.com to prove that they are actually capable of printing and shipping an actual hard copy book.

After much research, the decision to use smashwords to distribute all the digital formatting of the book seems to be the wisest. They take the book, and after formatting for Mark Coker’s meatgrinder software, which I had to send off the word document to rid it of all spaces, tabs, and page numbers, we will upload to smashwords, which will then, theoritiacally make it available on ipad, epub, nook, kindle, and the like, which is a good deal for me the writer, the publisher, and hopefully the consumer…

I saw on the smashwords website the ability to give away the book 4 free to soldiers in Afghanistan and Iraq, so in the spirit of books4free.com, we will definitely be participating in that venture.

The journey feels like it’s getting closer to completion, but of course, the marketing and selling of the book will just be the next step. The writing, editing and bringing to market though, is hopefully almost done. Once books4free.com is complete and their is a book for sale, for read for free, and digitally, I’ll be excited… right now I’m just feeling a little overwhlemed by it all.

-JB Smith

 

My mom died of Cancer in 2004, and 6 years later, I have 3.5 years sober, and owed her an amends. Not the kind one can make in person though, but a living amends. As I was advised, a letter.

For several reasons I document in the book it took me no less than 5 tries to get to her headstone and be able to sit and write for a couple of hours. Having finished the amends, it felt anti-climatic, if not a touch depressed.

Though I cleared the Hep C virus in 2008, and went 6 months without treatment, was then tested, found negative and thus declared Hep C negative, I went and got another test on Friday, just to be sure as I go to publish with the book, in the next few weeks, and it would be nice to say it’s been 2.5 years without the virus, instead of just that six month test. I guess what I’m saying is that I’m nervous about that test, regardless of being pronounced cured 2 years ago, and that visiting my moms grave, after 6 years of absence was more than a little emoti0nally taxing.

Visiting my Dad’s grave, who shot himself with a .357 when I was 11 years old, was usually filled with more anger, and self righteousness, than visiting my moms, which brought up guilt and depression. Oh well. I’m sure I’ll get good news next week from the gastroenterologist, finish typing up the amends, and thus the end of the book, get the cover back from the graphics designer, and launch the site books4free.com finally as I’ve been patiently awaiting the finalized book to launch, and I’ll have accomplished a goal I set in motion over 10 years ago, I never knew would have taken me down this road, facing Hepatitis C, alcoholism, addiction, Alcoholics Anonymous, and living life on life’s terms, but here we are.

Life is an adventure I suppose. The living amends to my mom is good, I believe it ties the book up nicely. I’m glad I did it, but it was damn emotionally taxing, like most of the book. Reminds me of a quote I read about writing years ago.

“Writing is easy; I just open a vein and bleed.”
— Red Smith

Funny I could have sworn that quote included a typewriter. Damn google, it’s probably a misquote, feel free to respond with the original origin, but you get the gist.

– JB Smith

I did it. After almost two years of writing my book about Hep C, and hell, 3.5 years of thinking about the story, I decided to google the competition out there and see who else had written stories involving Hep C, and of course, as the challenges are so parallel, sobriety. I don’t know why I was so reluctant to see what was out there, other than, I just didn’t want to be discouraged by seeing like Hemingway’s surprise Hep C autobiography I’d never known about or something, and I just wanted to knock it out before I looked. Anyway, I found some stuff out there, but nothing that blew  my socks off.

First and foremost, you have Anthony Kiedis’ Scar Tissue, a great book I’ve heard, as he’s the front man for the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and God knows we’ve all heard, Under the Bridge Downtown, and can hear the description of his pain as he shoots heroin for the first time. Surely we can expect him to have had his own Hep C struggles, and of course the sobriety struggles that go along with it. I love one of his quotes I just found because it is exactly what happened to me regarding drugs and alcohol:

“You know I love pot, and I love beer, but I am totally sober, just because it completely stopped working for me.
Anthony Kiedis”

Man, I remember hearing that in an AA meeting before it happened, and thinking, What Bullshit. But whoa, what fear descends upon the madman when it occurs. Of an addict for 15+ years, when that day comes that the drugs and alcohol quit working, you will feel fear, and loneliness that few others ever experience. Your best friend of years disappears instantly, and you can’t imagine life with or without drugs and alcohol. I say this is my book, but it remains one of my favorite quotes: “Most of God’s miracles, first felt like a punch in the gut.” Eventually I would be grateful for that day, but I digress. So Anthony Kiedis had Hep C, wrote an autobiography, and says some pretty good shit about sobriety and Hep C. However, a lot of it was rock star, elite, Pie in the Sky treatment that Joe America simply doesn’t have access too. He says he beat it with a controversial treatment called Ozone gas, which is presumably, painless, miracolous, and just as effective as 48 weeks of hellish painful Interferon Treatment. My only objection here, is that if you ask your Dr., any major Gastroentologist in the United States about Ozone, they will laugh it off, or claim the expense is too high, that it isn’t FDA Approved, or just say that the only thing that is medically recognized to cure Hep C is Interferon…which is by the way, expensive, painful, depressing, and maddening. It’s like saying well, the common man has to take Chemotherapy for Cancer, but I, being a pompous rock star, was able to take nitrus oxide, and laugh away my disease.

“And finally yes, it’s true that Anthony Kiedis has hepatitis C. He contracted it somewhere along in his escapades and it is believed that it was caused by the drugs.  He is combating the infection with ozone administered by flea’s and his personal nurse Sat Hari. Ozone is a “wonderful-smelling” gas that has been used legally in Europe to treat everything from strokes to cancer. Most of this information can be found in his biography “Scar Tissue”.”

A wonderfully smelling gas. Interesting. I wonder how true any of this is? It’s all legal in Europe huh? If this is the case, why does the US not use it. Maybe I don’t know shit, and it’s a huge conspiracy against Americans, but as an American I was given one option, by my medical Dr., to defeat Hepatitis C, and that was Interferon, and though it was painful and hellish it did seem to work. After 6 months the disease was clear from my system, and after 2 years, I’m going in today to get it checked again, and hopefully will receive the same result. Hep C free and clear. I’ll ask my Dr. about Ozone today.

The other book I was able to find out there was written by “Johnny Delirious, Hepatitis C, Cured, who claims, from what I could tell briefly that he beat the disease, which he was diagnosed with in the late stages and given 8 months to live, with only homeopathic means. Ie… vitamins and sunshine, and positive thinking. Quite honestly his site links to so many sites charging for Homeopathic cures, you can’t help but think that this guy is just marketing to a demographic already susceptible to delusions and pie in the sky instant gratification solutions. I wonder how much money he’s made selling this book, and/or linking back to all the homeopathic solutions, that have absolutely no medical validity, and my MD claims are bullshit. Milk thistle? Gimme a break. This Virus will attack and kill your liver, and some dipshit is out there selling books about refusing a liver transplant and beating the disease on his good karma and GNC pills. Gimme a break. No I haven’t read the book, and no I don’t plan on it. I don’t know about Ozone treatments or homeopathic cures to Hep C, just as much as I don’t know how to moderate drinking or drugs. I got into this mess, taking short cuts, shooting for the angles, instant gratifications, and feel better cures, and the only way out of the hole I dug for myself, was the long ardous road of Interferon that an actual MD, speciliazing in the liver, suggested I take and whom laughed off, Ozone, and or Milk Thistle, and the other bullshit he offers on his website…

Also, never take medical advice from a guy whose last name is Delirious. Just saying. Maybe it worked for him, I haven’t , and won’t read the book, but for the average, Hep C infected addict, alcoholic, your options really don’t include Ozone, and or Vitamins and Milk Thistle. Follow your Gastroentologist’s advice and take Interferon. It’s tough, but it works, and these other cure alls are just that in my opinion.

On the other hand if Ozone does actually work, and the medical community has kept it out of the states, for profitability reasons or something that sinister, then Shame on them. Interferon changes you for life. If there were medical data, and access to Ozone, like rock stars apparently have, I would recommend it be the new treatment, but I have to assume, the United States, with the best, most educated Dr’s in the world, have a better reason than profits, to keep Ozone out of the US, and Interferon as the major treatment for this debilitating disease. I don’t know, but it just seems really strange, the only two other books out there, offer these fairy tale, delusional options, that weren’t available to me, or any of the other Hep C patients I’ve met here in the States. I guess, that makes my book original then. Unless of course, you are a rock star, then call Anthony Kiedis, he seems to have access to magical gas that smells great.

Please take a moment to read about my  journey through insanity, addiction, Hep C, Interferon, and AA on http://www.books4free.com and check out the strong reviews on amazon at:

-JB Smith

So, as we get ready to launch books4free.com with my book about surviving interferon treatment, I happen to stumble across a link to a potentially better, and hopefully easier way of defeating Hepatitis C.

http://www.anadyspharma.com/products_in_development/ANA598.html

I guess it’s still in Phase II, and I won’t pretend to know what that means, but it actually is being lead by the Duke Doctor who replied to me while I was going through treatment. His website and comments gave me some hope as I was finishing up the treatments in Spring of 2008.  I also just happened to stumble across another article mentioning a third drug, on top of the ribivirn, interferon treatments, that increases the odds of being cured even more… called telaprevir. Very hopefully, interesting stuff. I went to a Hep C funeral last week, so if they could improve the cure ratios above 50% it would mean a lot to a lot of people.

http://www.wral.com/lifestyles/healthteam/story/7386301/

This definitely tempts me to talk to this Dr. some before releasing the final version of the book, as anything I can add to give hope or information to Hepatitis C sufferers is an asset to the book…. just when you think you’re finished huh…

Oh well, a little more research and work couldn’t hurt the overall success of the book long term, and this is just too exciting of news not to include. Looks like they were preleminary trials but still, worth writing about!

Additionally found this older article:

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/06/090605112257.htm

Worth reading, hopeful stuff!!!!

-JB Smith

After two effing years of working on a book, my dumbass originally estimated would take two weeks to complete, you better believe you occasionally wonder if the thing is worth a damn, or just an inflated ego tauting rambling pile of turds.

But the original reason I began writing it was to hopefully give witness to my story of recovery, of getting sober, finding out I was Hep C positive, and then staying sober, navigating the waters of meetings, weekly interferon shots, ribavirin and the hell the was the 48 week treatment of Interferon. Ultimately I wrote this book for people that may have to go through the same process, as surely I didn’t have a monopoly on contracting Hep C and then getting sober.

Last night as fate, God, or Zeus would have it, a close friend of mine turns out is facing the exact same challenges. With a natural aversion to Alcoholics Anonymous, and little to no hope of beating both addiction and Hepatitis C, I can at least give him my book, allow him to read that it can be done, and not just by some stranger, but my someone he knows, and hopefully walk away with a little bit of purpose, direction, clarity, and the Universe willing, some hope.

Even if the book gets racked against the coals, crucified in reviews, and shat on in the public eye, if it seriously helps one Hep C sufferer get through the hellish year of Interferon Treatment it will have served it’s purpose.

The Henry David Thoreou quote helps as well. To paraphrase, “Write as though you’re writing to far away relatives” and in that you preserve the truth, and allow your writing not to be hampered by what others may think.

I really pray this book reaches out to sufferers of addiction, Hep C, and the families of those suffering both of those fatal diseases, and offers some strength, hope, reality and a couple of smiles, and therefore, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of my book.  It came from the heart, and is a success, regardless of whether it sells 10 copies or 10000000, because it is my true story of victory over alcoholism, Hep C, selfishness (a continuing battle) and of course the darker side of my human nature.

I stand a changed man at 3.5 years sober, and I owe a huge debt of gratitude towards AA. Though my father and many friends have lost to the disease of addiction, AA has saved many lives, including my own, and I’m grateful.

It was good to be able to point a friend toward the book, it put it all into perspective. I don’t wish the Hep C on him of course, but I’m glad I’ve already blazed the trail through hell for him to follow, as well as chronicled every step. I hope it helps more than just him.

-JB Smith

Wow, I remember when I began the project I believed I would finish the rough draft in approximately two weeks, and that was the Christmas break of 2008. One year and a half later, I am finishing up the final edit of my memoirs, having changed all the names, tweaking the ending, and adding the Amends to my mother, who passed from Cancer in 2004, and 3.5 years later, remains the one amends I’ve yet to make, and probably the toughest one of them all, as it ‘s a living amends one that I can not approach face to face. I’m sure I’ll uncover additional amends as I peel back the layers of the onion, but this one will finish the book nicely I believe.

Rand Hopkins told me a week before he died, that I should write the book, and that it would really help me more than anything else. He aslo said to live your dreams because you never know when you may get hit by bus. One week later, and a month after my mom died, Rand Hopkins died, and I stayed behind to continue my struggle with addiction. Man was he right. Finishing this book really helped me put it into perspective.

Using Thoreau’s quote, to summarize , Write as if you’re writing to relatives in a distant land, I was able to really detach myself from public opinion of the book. It’s for me and mine, and it’s  out there to share, if someone would like to read it, and it’s not aimed at pleasing or marketing to the masses, but really I think will be most helpful to those suffering from Hepatitis C, addiction, and of course the awful, but invaluable, Interferon treatment.

That being said, I’d love to sell a million copies, what writer wouldn’t.

Changing the names to protect the innocent bystanders, or others with the disease of alcoholism and or hepatitis C was my least favorite part of this project. Hiding under aliases felt so false, but the attorney and editor both strongly suggested it, and I’m not as headstrong as I once was. I would have much rather, published with all the real, original names though. I believe the story is still good, and solid and true, I just feel like some of the real names had a more poetic feel to them, and the false alias, felt a little fake, but I guess to strangers, who would know the difference. Guess we’ll have to wait and see.

The process has been long and ardous to get it published as well. The publisher books4free just emailed me to tell me he just recieved the ISBN, and Bar Codes. The cover design editor has finally finished a rough draft that I’m happy with, but she still has some small customizations, and of course, I have to do a couple of small things. Finish final editing of about 90 pages, as well as set up lightning source account, amazon account, and link them all up to the bank accounts. 19.99 looks like it will be the book price for the hard copy, as I’m not trying to rape and pillage anyone, would rather be cheap and sell a bunch, than lose a single sale, and not reach someone. Also, of course, staying true to the name, the book will be available online for free. Hopefully though, this will sell more hard copy and epub formated books. Oh yes, also need to set up smashwords account for epub and digital formats….

So things are moving along, but slowly. The next book will go more smoothly I’m sure, but you’re first baby is always going to entail a learning curve. We’re getting there though.

-JB Smith

Wow, so this is my first bloggage activity, and I’ve yet to see how this process works, so for all I know I’m writing in the subject line right now. It’s been a long day, I’m an executive recruiter by day and a writer by night, but also trying to finish the editing, and ultimately the publishing of my book through the website and publishing company books4free.com . Hippopotamus Sea is the name of the book, and it’s about the journey of my life. From being born into an abusive alcoholic, albeit, upper middle class, family in the late 1970’s, watched my Dad’s progressive disease as he spiraled downward from drinking Budweiser on a daily basis, to pina colodas, to chugging vodka straight from the bottle, and ultimately on August 22, 1989, putting a .357 to his head and blowing his head off.

I led an intense and crazy adolescent life, flirting with LSD, pot, cocaine, and of course my love, drinking, followed the Dead a little, sold drugs, went in and out of Juvenile Detention in downtown Atlanta where Judge Hatchett would scold me and let me go from time to time, until dropping out of school and dealing drugs, a gun was put to my head, both literally and figuratively. My girlfriend got pregnant, and then while she was 8 months pregnant a gun was put to my head to rob me of the cash I’d brought to a drug deal.

Longer story than can be blogged, eventually bought books4free.com in an early attempt to publish ebooks in 1999, that he’d written about Big Brother and the other wild conspiracy theories he’d floated about in his fragile little mind. I met in the rooms of AA and our stories were so similar we decided to work together.

Bertelsmann offered 20k in 2000 but I declined. Instead, got married, then divorced, and my addictions got worse and worse until I was doing my dying mothers fetinol patches. Once she died, I switched to heroin in one fateful evening, that would ultimately give me Hep C and cause my liver to start failing. I quit the heroin and all opiates after that night, but I continued to drink and things got worse and worse.

I lost my mind. I thought I had a microchip in my ankle, I thought I was an undercover CIA operative, and I was certain I was in hell when alcohol quit working for me in August of 2006.

I went to AA, I believed I was in hell, and my soul would ignite at any moment. I wrote a detailed book about the entire experience, my entire life leading up to that crossroads, and the journey of beating Hep C afterwards, and staying sober, etc.

With 2.5 years of real sobriety now, I’m trying launching the book, putting the final editing touches on the book Hippopotumus Sea and I believe I’m getting close, though the international slowdown in the economy is certainly not helping my progress any.

Oh well, such is life, as Miley says with all her years of wisdom, there is always going to be another hill to climb, always gonna be an uphill battle. Haha, I’m delirious. Day 3 without a cigarette, but it’s all good, I’m sure this too shall pass.

The dynamics of books4free.com will be this:

An unpublished author like myself will be able to post his/her entire book online for free, available to read, but not for download or print, but if they like it, and want to buy the hardcopy they’ll be able to purchase it through the site as well, or purchase the MP3 audio, or of course the ebook, which thanks to Sony, no longer is a monopoly through the kindle. The site, books4free.com, will offer authors the most money back of any self publishing avenue out there, and with the domain as obvious as it is, we will hopefully attract many readers, so that the cream will rise, and the books that aren’t amazing, will fall by the way side. That way when it becomes evident we have a successful writer on our hands, we will be able to act as a literary agent to the traditional brick and mortar publishing houses, and sign our authors up. We will charge less that lulu, iuniverse, or authorhouse, because we’re in it for the authors, not the vanity publishing revenue dollars.

We truly just want great works to be read, without the wall of traditional publishers from blocking them. Emily Dickinson died with 1000’s of pages of works in her attic. This is a place for writers to publish, and be discovered, without being charged an arm and a leg for cover design work, additional editing, consulting, etc. Vanity publishing sells to just that , the egos and vanity of writers, which I assure you can be quite large, but books4free.com and booksforfree.com will be for finished product, to be posted, and viewable for the public to read and judge on their own.

God willing, it won’t take another 10 years to launch anyway. Sometimes when I make plans, God laughs!

– JB Smith