Posts Tagged ‘Post Interferon Syndrome’

Post Interferon Headaches Good News Finally- Topomax – For Me At Least

Posted: March 12, 2017 in Uncategorized
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If you’ve read my blog for a while or just googled post TX, post interferon headaches, and found this blog, welcome, I went through interferon back in 2006-2007 and beat Hep C, and have never test positive since, which is considered cured thank God!

At the time it was an injection of interferon once a week and pills of ribavirin daily, and it went on for a year, and it was much more than flu-like symptoms, most obviously admitted by the medical community by the fact that within just a few short years of my completing this cycle of medication they were no longer offering it, but opting for a much shortened time line of medication, that not only offered a higher than the 50/50 rate of remission than my cocktail did, but also was closer to a 13 week, rather than 48 week I believe mine was. Anyway I’m not bitching about what my options were at the time. In the words of the 2nd President Roosevelt who served his term in a wheelchair, in secret I might I add “Do what you can, with what you got, right where you are.” My liver was failing, I was dying. That’s that.

After I was cured, I was left I was left with terrible headaches, a surprise side effect, that having conquered, my drinking, and drugging problem that had plagued, me that previous 20 years, and of course, cursed my family childhood years previous, I’d really was hoping for a fresh, clean slate to build my life upon, and when I went into the corporate world I was really thrown back when I found myself in extreme pain, several days out of the week, if not all the way through.

Eventually I found a few treatments, for me it was Prodrin and Sudafed that allowed me to push through the work days that have allowed me the last five years to have steady employment and build a successful sales career back up, but it’s just been fighting through steady headaches with Prodrin, which is a heavy caffeine and Tylenol mix, and then Sudafed is a decongestants and Sudafed is a vasoconstrictint so I believe that sometimes helps, but not all the time. But its made me very antisocial. I’m thought of as angry around the office, and I don’t make enough meetings, don’t like to go out, as a result. I truly have a life that revolves around the headaches as a result.

I tried several different combinations of medications to alleviate the constant pain and wrote about them in this blog  a few years back, off the top of my head, indomethacin works, but kills your stomach, constipation, ulcer-like pain, Zoloft, a slew of other antidepressants and the like, to no avail, for six months stints at a time. And a few months ago, my girlfriend suggested I try Topomax. At first I felt nothing, and it wasn’t until I got to the full dosage, but lo and behold, I am finally feeling a lot better.

Now fair warning, they say you get a bit of brain-fog, and feel dumb. This is not inaccurate. I do software presentations, and could not remember how to spell words that I clearly knew how to spell for a good two weeks. Also I couldn’t remember the name of a place I’d eaten at lunch for five years. Touch of mania as well, sending oddball texts to my boss for a week or so, but I’m way above quota for the year, so I’m in a good place politically for these kinds of antics, and the emotions are definitely starting to settle back down.

Anyway, I can honestly say its the first time since the treatment that I haven’t had a MAJOR migraine and that is huge news. In fact, its hard for me to remember if it was the treatments that caused it or my whole adult life because prior to the treatment i was an alcoholic addict, so I’d have to go back 25 years. before I wasn’t self medicated. I don’t remember having headaches leading up to the interferon, maybe one or two a week or so, i just remember feeling so happy that I was finally cured of alcoholism, and then BOOM finding out my liver was failing. It was that quick, it was just a few months after. It’s been ten years now. I’ve suffered with headaches the majority of that time.

Finally for the last three weeks or so I haven’t. I just pray with the Topomax it holds and I can continue to stay sober and continue to do God’s will and find out what the next leg of the journey is!

Crazy it took me that long to find the right medication. If anyone is struggling with Post Interferon or headaches after your hepatitis C treatments, please try to cycle up to 200 mg of Topomax with your headaches specialist or Neurologist. I thought I had tried everything and nothing worked till I got to that. I even paid $19,000 cash for jaw surgery, I didn’t need! It’s funny, not haha funny, but ironic I guess, not that isn’t the word, either. To a hammer everything looks like a nail I guess, basically every kind of Dr you see, thinks their particular field is probably what is causing your headache. I’m just glad I finally have some relief.

Big news on the book and the website coming soon. Very grateful as always to be ten years sober, and now to be pain-free, and of course with a full long life ahead of me!

Anyway, God’s Will not mine. I just hope that it holds!

Jared Bryan Smith
Author
Founder
Books4Free.com

Post Interferon Syndrome vs Celexa 20 mg – 90 days in… thereabouts…

Posted: April 14, 2012 in Uncategorized
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Lets see, that has to be about right, maybe 60 days because I guess I started taking the Celexa at the end of January and now we are rounding mid april so probably 70 days or so. The great news is that I rarely have the major stop me from functioning headaches anymore, taking the pain level from an easy 8 or 9 to a most days nothing at all and when the headaches do return it is a mild 2 or 3, not the all encompassing pain I experience full well half my days for so many years Post TX. Is it the medicine, or perhaps just the amount of time now finally getting on close to 4 years post TX, I really can’t say but I’m too scared to try and stop taking the medicine. I’m much less manic, much more focused and consistent and I’ve been outperforming at work and doing well. Save a couple of emails from disgruntled cheap shot customers, lol, in one I called my VP of Sales the price Nazi and since he was out I could offer an incredible price and the stupid customer sent it to my boss, the little pain in my ass, I was called in and reprimanded. Since when is Nazi a bad word… Oh well, who cares, life goes on.

The major downside of Celexa I’ve noticed though is that I’m not as driven and or motivated if you will. I’ve written almost nothing, nothing in the blog, books, barely anything in my own personal journal. I do my job well enough, even put in the extra hours for fear of being laid off yet again in this fickle economy, but as far as extra curricular, the gym, the blog, the meetings, I have been barely getting by.. And the meetings. the thing that has literally held me together the last five years, well I will be honest, on Celexa, while I still go, I don’t really feel like I get as much out of the meetings as I used to, don’t feel as compelled to share, and don’t leave with the sense of accomplishment and well being that I used to… now it’s just a blah feeling… but no headaches. Hard to weigh the pros and cons. I mean I’m not going to stop taking Celexa, I simply can’t. But there is a lot to be said about losing the drive to write, work out, or go to meetings and be passionate….

Also peeing. Urinating and orgasms, now take effing forever. Sometimes I’ll have to pee really bad walk in the bathroom and sit there for five minutes just waiting and waiting… weird side effect. In addition my super regularity is gone, as you could have timed the stock market on my morning movement prior to Celexa, and now, who knows, sometimes its a few days, sometimes its daily, which is strange for me.

Are those symptoms things worth the headaches being gone? Hard to say. I guess I’ll keep on keeping on, grateful that I’m cured of Hep C and alcoholism, or daily reprieve or what have you, and just be glad that something, anything was able to treat the headaches at all… for if this thing treats them one way, perhaps Lexapro, or Wellbutrin will treat them another, and I owe it to myself to explore those ways as well. Hope is better than despair I suppose, and headaches for years was starting to get a bit desperate for sure.

I’m grateful I’ve found something, but am definitely open to the possibility that something else may treat them better, and this time at least it will be nice to know I can fall back on the Celexa, should the headaches return. Also I may as well use whats working for a while at least, or hell for economic reasons at least wait until Lexapro has a generic.

– Jared Bryan Smith

Post Interferon Syndrome – Headaches and Celexa (Citalopram)

Posted: March 4, 2012 in Uncategorized
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So I made the move back to civilization from the mountain house, and I’m loving the new apartment and the new job. More than anything, all the fear wrapped up into not being able to perform at the new job is beginning to dissipate as the Post Interferon Syndrome headaches have been so diminished with the new meds. After Interferon I was so shocked to have that brain fog penetrate through and destroy my quality of life for many years after I stopped Interferon. I mean it sucks even worse because the doctors won’t admit it’s happening, blame it on other things, and tell you such idiotic things as, “Just take a multivitamin” or when you tell them about your symptoms kind of look down their nose at you and state “Well, if you say so.” I mean it’s quite remarkable really, how online you can find multiple people suffering from an almost universal diagnosis, and then go to three educated doctors in a metropolis like Atlanta, and have your General Doctor, your Gastroenterologist and your Neurologist, all basically say Interferon has no lasting side effects, so this must be an anomaly or just in your head, or even that you’re being a hypochondriac to the point you almost question it yourself. But I wrote about it, I journalled and I was even able to stop working for a while, move out of the city and see if it was allergies, pollution or something I hadn’t thought of, and the headaches persisted. I was still, 3.5 years later suffering from brain fog type headaches at least 66% of the time, which made selling, or making cold calls very tough if not impossible. So in 2012, facing a new job, a highly micro managed job, I was really scared I wouldn’t be able to perform because of the headaches. Two or three weeks into it, I was still suffering 2-3 days during the week, so almost out of hope, I decided to take a scientific practical objective look at what meds might possibly do for me. This is despite my being a member of Alcoholics Anonymous and opposed to being on any mood altering substances. I had tried anti depressant while I was beginning Interferon and I had been so early in sobriety, I felt like it made me more squirrely and even so uncomfortable that it made me think of drinking more often, and trust me at one year sobriety, I wasn’t in a position to be flirting with that possibility. Especially as I was just starting my battle against Hep C, the disease which attacks the very organ my liver uses to process alcohol. So my attempt at mood altering substances, or anti depressants had gone so bad I just was afraid they would make me want to drink again, but at 5 years sober, the headaches practically making me an invalid, I finally decided, hell or high water, I would give several different substances, 90 days or so, give them a fair shake and see how much better or worse I felt, just so longed as I didn’t drink or drug, it was worth the experiment. I’m glad I did.

It’s mind boggling how well Celexa works in combating my constant headaches. I mean it just doesn’t make sense it’s so effective. The first week or two was weird as I was adjusting but after I got over the hump, I mean to tell you the brain fog headaches I would rate as an 8 or so, fell down to around a 2, and the frequency of around 66% of the time or 2/3rds of the time walking around trying to function in pain has been reduced to around 1/10th of the time. They also gave me Prodrin to combat the migraines, the other kind of headache that actually significantly went away when I quit smoking 2 years ago, and it’s basically caffeine and a ton of Tylenol, but that too does the trick on that particular kind of headache. I am just so grateful I held out and waited, and found something that finally worked. I will give this another 90 days or so, or maybe even after that explore other ones to see which one I function the most highly on, but this is like a minor miracle to me, because I was suffering for so long, in so much frustration and pain, and I thought it would never end. I still don’t understand it. Could it be I was so depressed, or so chemically imbalanced it actually caused physical pain to my brain. I mean that looks like the case but seems far fetched and unlikely, however, I am not a chemist, a doctor or even educated about such things. All I know is it killed my headaches, made my life functional again and I am grateful.

I was written too by someone recently stated they had to go back on oxys because of their post interferon pain, and let me tell you man, I can relate. I was an opiate addict for a long time, and I write about that part of my life significantly in my book Hippopotamus Sea, however, I am not going back to that shit, ever again. Not saying I haven’t been tempted over the last 3.5 years though, I thought about it at least once a week for sure. It just isn’t an option for me anymore, I’d sooner eat a bullet. Just like any drug, I need more and more, for less and less effect, and it’s what caused all this bullshit to begin with. I’m not ever going back to that, and if you’re suffering I beg of you to quit the opiates and try Celexa, for some reason it really helped me with my post interferon symptoms. Opiates and drinking, relapse in general is not a viable option, period the end. Other than catastrophic surgery and taking the meds with sponsor supervision, we with the disease of addiction can not flirt with pain meds or drugs effectively, and even with the Celexa, I was in constant contact with my sponsor and letting him know exactly what I was trying, and he was aware of every decision I was making. Accountability is key in sobriety, and no matter the pain, there is no excuse to going back to opiates, drinking or any kind of narcotic. With us to use or drink is to die.

That being said, I do still feel a bit anxious from time to time on Celexa which makes me want to try Lexapro because I hear that it has an anti anxiety portion, and now my mind is much more open about the capabilities of these meds, whereas before I thought it was a block to your higher power, and the sunlight of the spirit, now I’m glad my headaches are gone regardless. Actually the Doctor had suggested Lexapro, but they didn’t have it in generic, and therefore the insurance company changed my prescription, or rather made me call and get the Doctor to change the prescription, which in itself is news worthy. Who the fuck gives the insurance company of none doctors the ability and power to change my medications, solely based on cost. I mean, it’s really an outrage. They say Lexapro will have a generic within the year though, so I’ll just continue on Celexa, record the symptoms, and then compare once I switch over later on.

I am still glad I found a baseline before using them, but I mean, Post Interferon, meetings and step work just wasn’t killing the headaches like it killed the urge to drink early on for me. Everything happens for a reason I suppose.

– Jared Bryan Smith

Whitney Houston said “These drinks are watered down” in her last days…

Posted: February 18, 2012 in Uncategorized
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There’s not an alcoholic in the world who has gone past that lonely invisible line, that doesn’t know what kind of living hell her life had become at that moment. The moment the drink stops working, and you can’t imagine your life with or without alcohol. For me, and I chronicle this all very vividly and in detail in my book Hippopotamus Sea, My Viral sobriety, the drinks not only stopped getting me drunk, but they began to taste of charcoal, or maybe brimstone, because I do not exaggerate when  I say its the closest thing to hell I’ve ever experienced. Following those dire moments for me I hit multiple crossroads, a few more chances, a few mere suggestions to go into AA and my sister had a heart to heart little barrage of words with me. All of it was a divine message of warning though, and I bet Whitney got about that same level of attention from the same God who saved me, I mean hell, she did grow up singing in the choir. Man, 49 years old, and really who knows how long it had been for her with the drink not working? Earth people just have no clue what that statement, what those witnesses grasped. When an addict’s drug stops working, the relief is over, hell has just descended. Somehow, through hundreds of AA meetings, and prayer and stepwork, I made it out, but Whitney died in a bathtub a couple of days later, and I’m just grateful that didn’t happen to me… hell I don’t think I had hot water when I was getting sober. Maybe being poor is a blessing.

So I have lots of other news to report as well, I am loving the new job, though it’s tough, the environment is competitive, and I enjoy the haggling, and the negotiating, and there is a lot of room for upward mobility. Also too, the headaches, the brainfog headaches, from what I considered to be Post Interferon Syndrome, seem to finally have abated a good deal since getting on Celexa prescribed by my Neurologist, that I finally decided to take after kicking and screaming against prescription meds and especially mood altering drugs for so many years. I can’t believe that my depression was causing physical pain in my head for over 3 years post TX and it’s probably too soon to say that’s what it was, but damn it all to hell if I don’t feel remarkably better, and I’m not able to make my 100 calls, do 2 hours in the gym and still commute 3 hours a day, and still feel pretty good about life in general. I mean, that is some amazing progress considering the debilitating nature of these headaches and the magnitude and quantity of their overbearing presence. I’m just humbled and grateful and must redact everything I’ve ever really written about prescription meds in this blog. I mean I’m still glad I discovered a baseline, emotionally, and physically in my sobriety, but wow, this Celexa has literally cured the worst of my brain fog headaches, and I seem to be able to think more clearly as well, which again is just a very big deal for someone who was forgetting names of friends and simple math and I mean its just a really big deal. Weeks one and two on the stuff was quirky and I  think when I’d started Interferon way back when I tried it and couldn’t get through the anxiety of the first week or two, but when I broke through week two I felt great. I’m only hesitant to declare it a total cure because i still did get hit with a migraine on Thursday, but I mean thats one headache out of seven days compared to like 6 out of 7, and the migraines and the brain fog headaches are two totally different types, one you can work thru, but the brain fog ones, felt like the day after an interferon shot and I’ve experienced them consistently every since treatment which has sucked ass, brutal, and made work next to impossible.

So once again, I learn that the more I know the less I understand, but I will take it, I will take relief and the ability to work, and work hard at a job I enjoy any day of the week and thank God for my sobriety, and all my friends and family who helped me and or tolerated me as I went through the pain of the last few years. You get to the point where you don’t talk about it much because you are tired of hearing your own self bitch. I mean I lost jobs to this thing, probably lovers and friends as well, but such is life. I am glad I found something that manages the pain, and if you’re having Post Interferon Syndrome related headaches I highly recommend trying Celexa, 20 mgs has helped me considerably and I just wish I’d tried it sooner but my old school AA nature really resisted it as being “not sober” but the Big Book does state “we are not doctors” and they have no opinion on outside issues, I probably shouldn’t have been so judgmental about medications before I just felt like they would block the sunlight of the spirit, and create the urge to drink again, but that hasn’t been the case for me at all.

Life and sobriety continue to be learn as you go I suppose, and I’m just glad I found some relief, and now feel competent to keep my job, because after losing two sales jobs back to back due to this pain, I was really concerned I simply wouldn’t be able to perform, but I’m averaging more calls than the entire class of 15 they hired, and things are going great. I still miss the little chaos creating alcoholic I dated up here in the mountains, but I’ve been good about not calling or contacting her as well. Whats the point? I can’t date an active alcoholic no matter how much I want to, haha, but I guess I’m still just a little stunted in that area, better to be single than with the wrong one though. Such is life, live and learn.

Condolences for Whitney, her family the poor daughter, and of course all our men and women who’ve passed since this war began, because in case you hadn’t noticed we’re still losing people every week. In both Afghanistan and Iraq, where we most certainly do still have about 15000 “embassy personnel” and military contractors. Looks like things are bout to heat up there as well. I think by October we’ll be driving some tanks up to the doorsteps of those reactors in Iran and sending in demo teams to destroy every bit, we’ll prolly stay out of the cities, but Iran can’t be let to have nukes, and air power alone will just slow them down, so I think Obama will try and pull a patriotic rally right before the election with a ballsy tank maneuver and you know what, it might just work, and get him reelected. We shall see, as we say, more shall be revealed!

If you haven’t already done so please check out my book, the cartoons on Youtube and post http://www.books4free.com on your facebook page to spread the word! Thanks so much and have a great weekend!

Jared Bryan Smith

My fasting experiment…

Posted: January 10, 2012 in Uncategorized
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Well I only lasted 32 hours, but I mean the results were tangible. I became hungry. haha… no I was definitely amazed by the clarity of my prayers, by the meaning and depth of reading scripture and there was a lot to be said for fasting overall. I still am skeptical of Free Chapel though to be quite perfectly honest.

I went there yesterday to pray prior to going down to do some step work with a sponsee at the 1 pm and low and behold there were, I’d say, about 20 people there already kneeling and praying at the front of the church. However I couldn’t help but notice the feeling of the whole place just being a big TV set. There was no cross, no alter, no stain glass windows, just a huge stage. Then to my left I heard some of those folks talking in tongues. I pretty much decided to end my fast and eat a cheeseburger right then and there. It was weird, and there was no church leadership, or even anything remotely christian about the praying…. I guess I’m just a little too skeptical still.

All that skepticism aside, I can’t argue that the Bible mentions praying and fasting quite a bit, more than I’d ever acknowledged before in my life and I’m glad to have brought it to my spiritual tool kit. I noticed in my meditation Sunday night after I was able to stay a lot more focused than usual… but then again I hadn’t really meditated in a long time anyway. Still, it put things into perspective.

I was able to recall just how powerful the feelings from last year were, and though similar, how far a cry this new woman was, and how both were but a taste of what is to come. Clearly I am not ready to receive the love God has in store for me at this moment but that doesn’t mean I won’t be one day in the future. Just that last year wasn’t right, and and this girl wasn’t the right one either, to be ok with that, to be patient, and that really I should have never let someone quite so sick get quite so close to begin with. One more set of lies I can no longer trust in myself I suppose, that I can date an active alcoholic because I won’t be stupid enough to develop feelings for her… nix that theory. I am just that stupid and more. No, I can’t fix people is part of the lesson. So don’t try and date or make love to projects that need fixing. I have enough fixing of my own to deal with, I need not take on any more challenges.

But after mediating, and praying yesterday, that hole in my heart was literally gone. So I guess a couple of lessons learned, calling the ball earlier reduces the pain, or the length of the pain, and also, fasting and praying is a great way to sharpen your connection to your higher power at any time. It filled the God sized hole right up in just over a 24 hour time frame. Reminding me of how human and delicate and savage I really am, and how much I really do need God.

Our program of AA is a spiritual program of action and that is one of the things I really enjoyed about fasting, is that it was an action event. Unlike so much else in the Bible, and outside of our 12 steps, it is something we can do, take action towards, and immediately begin reaping the benefits, feeling the results. if ever I begin to doubt God again I know I can use this tool, not eating, to immediately begin to feel his presence and force my hand to begin communicating. It reminds me of that saying, if you feel God is no longer in your presence, “Who do you think moved?” By fasting I get back to God, and I mean in a hurry. I must have prayed two dozen times, on my knees in that 30 hour period and my mind was crystal clear.

Regardless of my skeptical nature, I truly can not argue that Fasting has added an arrow to my quiver that I won’t soon forget.

I am grateful that pain of loss left me, grateful I start a new job next week, and grateful that joy and happiness are in my heart. I wish that girl the best, and I will remain her friend if she should call upon me, but I will not allow myself to get sucked back into an alcoholic sick situation. I will stay sober, and hopefully one day she’ll want sobriety based on my example. I wrote multiple letters I can’t send promoting AA and our way of life, but upon talking to my sponsor, which I already damn well knew, that is not how we operate. We are a program of attraction not promotion, so we’ll just have to wait by the sidelines, and move on, if it were right omnipotent God would make it so. As I’ve said before “If it’s right nothing in the world you do can prevent it from happening and if it’s wrong, nothing in the world can force it.” It is what it is, and I’m just grateful I can accept that more easily 5 years in than I could when I first got sober.

Jared Bryan Smith

Natalie Cole’s Health Battle With Hepatitis C w/ Mary Hart on The Early Show… “That Interferon is really serious.”

Posted: October 21, 2011 in Uncategorized
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Great to see she is finally addressing her Hepatitis C. I wonder how many years total it lay dormant? What a hell of a disease. She walked around for 20 years just fine and then it hits her like a mack truck. Well I’m glad she’s speaking openly about it and doesn’t credit sloppy tattoo parlors like ole Gregg blames. Truth is one hell of a character trait these days, and Natalie seems to be facing things head on and without shame, and that is awesome. Also great news that she’s doing Interferon and not Ozone or Nitrus Oxide for Pete’s sake like Anthony Kiedis from Red Hot Chili Peppers, but actual Interferon like we all are told to do. I hope to hell she doesn’t suffer the post TX, or Post Interferon Syndrome so many of us are going through now. I blogged a bit about it on medhelp which is available via the link below, and basically as I state it seems to affect clear thinking, headaches, joint pain and the like. Nothing new, but still as far as I can tell being totally ignored by the medical community as a whole. And what’s good news for Interferon patients moving forward, is with Telapravir hopefully that number of people suffering from Post Interferon Syndrome will be even more dramatically reduced. It’s good news for people in general, but it doesn’t really help me or the others who are suffering extensively, from symptoms that are hard to prove, but exist in a multitude of us, as is reflected in this forum:

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Hepatitis-C/Long-term-side-effects-of-interferon/show/866107

I just read someone state simply : “Had I known the fog Interferon would put me in, I would have made my peace with God and enjoyed what little time I had left.” Someone else stated, “Yes my husband beat HCV over 10 years ago but now lives in a constant state of depression.” Those are just in the last few handful of posts. I certainly don’t wish for Natalie Cole to experience any post TX symptoms as I have, but if she does, or if Steven Tyler or Gregg Allman did and spoke up about them, maybe somebody would listen.

On the forum it talks about the Mayo Clinic recognizing Post Interferon Syndrome as a real issue, but it was never documented, cited, ie proven. I would like to see real research done to see if it affects hormones, blood levels, immunity, etc. Everything seems to be out of whack for me and obviously we’re not imagining it if there are hundreds of people from all over the country explaining the same symptoms. I’m around 3.5 years out from Interferon and still wake up everyday with a massive headache, I mean, that is not normal. Perhaps Natalie Cole will experience some of those same issues and begin to be a voice for folks, for God knows nobody else has done it.

There is a Doctor who posted even in that Medhelp thread, but I reached out to her personally and she didn’t respond. Her explanation of side effects is stunning, it’s worth reading, but basically she talks about not being able to complete the multitasking she used to be so capable of and having to resign as a Doctor of Medicine. I mean, you would think she would have the leverage to get people to listen, but I guess you’re talking about a multi billion dollar pharma industry, and these guys have power. Pharma is the Crown Jewel of the American Industrial Empire, and I suppose they aren’t about to take down a multi billion dollar line of products, especially when no matter what our complaints, it’s better for public health to get rid of Hepatitis C, than it is to wait until the “cure” has less long term permanent side effects. For the greater good, better to cure it now, stop it’s spread, than worry about what that “cure” does to people’s brains, especially when on paper, and through standard blood work, it looks as though they are fine. Those permanent side effects are much more difficult to measure, in fact it would take comprehensive aptitude tests taken before and after, and that doesn’t really fall under the gastroenterology field, they would need to bring in Neurologists and maybe even Psychiatrists to really measure brain function before and after Interferon and again, it still wouldn’t be better for the public, greater good, than curing it, no matter what. Still, telling people, they will only suffer “flu like symptoms” for a 12 months, is a bald faced lie. If I’d known a fraction of what I know now, I’d have at least waited until it was a more pressing case of Hep C before starting Interferon. Now that we are here though, I just want to know if there is anything we can do to improve our state of mind moving forward. Hormones, steroids, vitamins, anything.

Sadly without a voice, I don’t believe a single study is being done to even qualify our issue as a valid one. It could all change in a New York Minute though, and I do read of lots of people who don’t suffer these symptoms. Maybe it was because I administered these shots myself for 48 weeks, maybe I overdosed a couple of times. Lord knows I’m an over achiever, and overdosed  a few times on the recreational stuff, though never significantly enough for death or a stomach pumping. Still perhaps my lack of health insurance and self-administering exacerbated the problem. I don’t know. Maybe it will clear after year 4 post Interferon. God I hope so, I really wish I didn’t get the headaches and brain fog. Maybe someone with credentials, or fame will give the syndrome a voice, and we will get studied and fixed. I don’t know, I’m gonna keep on keeping on, I didn’t get sober to bow out or give up, but this is certainly been challenging as hell, it’s persistence daunting.

And again, even with all that said, I am glad to be Hep C free. My liver enzymes were through the roof, and a friend of mine just had his come back after going through Interferon twice, once for a year, and once for a year and a half, and it’s come back. Now they think they’ll treat with Telaprevir. And he states he doesn’t get the brain fog, so it’s just weird. I’m glad it’s gone, and I’m glad he can treat now with Telaprevir with odds of 80% instead of 50%. God willing he’ll beat it, and God willing this fog and pain will fade away. I am grateful to be alive, I just wish more was being done to address the long term implications of Post Interferon Syndrome so many of us seem to be experiencing.

If you haven’t please check out my journey of sobriety, Hep C, and Interferon for free on http://www.books4free.com and of course on Amazon:

– Jared Bryan Smith

Perserverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another. -Walter Elliott

Posted: October 1, 2011 in Uncategorized
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They say perseverance is the principle behind the 10th step, and those are some of my favorite promises the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous:

And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone-even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality—safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.
Alcoholics Anonymous pp.84-85

I’ve found those to be 100% true. And that is the real miracle of all of the entire process. I sometimes forget who bad the obsession was for me when I first came in, and how amazingly different my state of mind is now. How thankful I am.

2011 has thrown me many curve balls. I’m still learning to cope with some of them. I can still question why God would bring my emotions to such an incredible pinnacle, only to have the rug pulled out from under me, on so many different aspects of my life. Perseverance is not so much of a trait as just a dogged necessity. In the steps. In life. And for damn sure in business.

I’ve had multiple recruiting companies in the Atlanta market over the past 10 years and the last one i sold for a small amount and folded up shop about two months before the crash of 2008 as I’d anticipated some rough waters ahead and I was right. I’d just finished with Interferon and I was tired. My mental functioning suffered quite a bit after Interferon as well and that was a major concern, that I’d hoped time would fix. It has to some degree, but I’m still operating at maybe 70-80% of where I was prior to beginning Interferon treatment. Had I known that I definitely would have waited until it was necessary to treat my Hep C, because I rely heavily on my intellectual faculties, as we all do, and now I’m slowly but surely coming to the realization that they aren’t coming back. Not to where they were prior to treatment. My photographic memory, and razor sharp quick wit are simply gone. Perhaps though, that adversity will sow the seed of success, making me become more resourceful, and more dependent on technology and a better way to recruit.

And so, 3 years after folding up shop on my last company, Seek And Employ, I have restarted another recruiting company in Accounting and Finance, but also this time I shall recruit for IT Positions as well. So many of the company owners I knew through the recession had diversified, that I think that will be a good strategy to prevent the company from grinding to a halt should another recession hit the market. I could have survived 2008, but I thought I’d find job security in working for others. 3 years and 3 layoffs later, I realize, we create our job security. Once you’ve owned a company it’s hard to go back to work for someone else I’ve found. So perseverance.

I start my 4th recruiting company in the Atlanta market, lol. 4th times the charm right? God I hope so.

Books4free has been an interesting side project, and I’m glad I finally have it operational. One day I’d like to come back and spend some more time writing, but for now, with my son 3 years from college, I need to spend some time building up a war chest for him, finish out paying my child support, and not make any major foolish mistakes while I complete the mission of raising my son, staying sober, and launching my new recruiting company. Yes, there will be sacrifices, and yes recruiting isn’t as exciting as software sales, marketing or humping the hills in Afghanistan with a Colt Automatic machine-gun, but there is no shame in being an entrepreneur who in just a weeks time has several Major Fortune 500’s agreed to work with him, and though lackluster, and not as thrilling, I am grateful I have the opportunity to represent such major companies and just go get the job done, recruit for them, and hit my goals.

And so I create daily habits, check lists, for the monotony of the recruiting business day cycles. Wake up, shower, work out, coffee, linkedin, recruit, certain number of calls, repeat. Day in, day out, persevere until you hit your goals. It is very lucrative, and habit makes it easier, it’s just doing it that is challenging. Get rid of distractions, turn off facebook, yahoo, and only blog on Saturdays will be the new rule. Focus, take advantage of the time given, and capitalize on it. Be the captain of your ship, the master of your own destiny, and make it happen!

And persevere. Remember all things are temporary. This too shall pass. Do the next right thing, do it well, and have faith that you will succeed. In sobriety, in business, and maybe one day even in love. Stranger things have happened, but right now, just focus on the goals at hand. Nothing else matters, but starting the recruiting biz now.

Writing, publishing books, etc. all needs to take a back burner. No need to take it down, just need to focus on restarting my career back up. Everything else will fall back in line once that is resolved. I literally have a finite dollar amount that is reachable and scalable, that I could hit in the next 3o days and be done with my legal responsibilities for child support… forever. That is amazing. That is sobriety. Close to 10k more, and I’m done for life. I mean, 5 years ago, 8 years more of child support sounded like a long frickin time, but now, it’s right around the corner. And conceivably I could hit those numbers in the next 90 days if I really stay focused. And whats more, I know they could really use the help right now, and how amazing would it be if I could pay them a lump sum all at once. That is my goal for right now. Get this recruiting company going, help my sons family out, and reinvest the rest back into the company to then pay off the car.

None of these dreams would be even close to possible if I were still drinking or using. One of our favorite arguments while out there used to be, “Well I’m not hurting anyone else, only myself.” It’s such a fucking selfish ass lie. When you tell yourself this blatant bullshit you’re not taking into consideration all the good you may potentially be doing instead of the harm. You erase the pain you cause those you love around you, the worrying, or even hell just the lack of family time you’d be spending, and that time, it never comes back. It’s gone forever. I know cause  both my parents are dead and buried. If I could have an hour back with my mom, sober… man I would give anything. But I’m fortunate still, to have finally woken up before I’d burned out the good years of my adult life. I’m now spent almost five years sober, doing good, instead of harm. Helping instead of hurting, and now I’m on the precipice of being able to help my family out much much more, because of my sobriety. Nothing would be possible without that.

Thank you God for my sobriety, my amazing family, and all my friends in AA. Perseverance pays off dividends like you wouldn’t believe. Please give me the strength to succeed in this business as never before, learning the lessons of the last three, and give me faith to believe that with you all things are possible.

Hang in there, the tide will go out again, the seasons will change. If you are bored just wait, everything changes and nothing on God’s green Earth happens without a reason.

-Jared Bryan Smith