Posts Tagged ‘Post Interferon’

Post Interferon – Post Celexa – Take 2 with Lamictal (Lamotrigine)

Posted: July 8, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
0

Man oh man how nice it was when Celexa worked for so long in keeping the Post Interferon headaches at bay. And how disheartening when it simply stopped working about 5 months into treatment. So with my Doctors counsel I tried to first double the Celexa from 20 mg to 40 mg only to have my headaches increase in intensity almost immediately. But, since the Celexa had taken two weeks to feel somewhat positive to begin with I held on for two weeks suffering through an intense basically constant headache through the first two weeks of June, and then finally gave up on that increased dosage strategy, and went back to the 20 mg for a week, then down to 10 mg and then off for about a week, before beginning the next step in this process, to try lamictal. I had used it once a few years back and had some good luck with it however I’d stopped when laid off from my recruiting job, and losing my health insurance. The experiment of course was to try several different meds until I found one that worked, while I have the good health insurance, and before I take any major entrepreneurial risks. I just want to be fully operational, or even just find something that makes me fully functional and for a while Celexa worked, until it just didn’t. When I stopped taking the Celexa though, I was reminded of the original headaches I’d been taking it for to treat in the firstplace. I was hoping that conditions and variables had changed, or rather that my quitting drinking coffee was going to make the headaches disappear entirely and therefore make the headaches disappear, however this wasn’t the case. It was weird though, getting off Celexa, about as weird as getting on it was. I was out of sort, dizzy sometimes, and just not myself.

So Lamictal, originally suggested by my Neurologist a few years back takes about 2-3 weeks to get up to its full dosage and I’m only about 4 days into it but so far so good. First of all I didn’t have, or haven’t had any of the skin rashes they warn you about which is apparently the main reason you have to ease into it, but also I woke up with one of my headaches this morning and it was the kind that usually stays with me all freaking day, however after taking a few tylenol and going to the gym it was gone, and I’ve felt pretty good all day.

I am hopefully for Lamictal , but if it doesn’t work I’ll just try for six months like I did Celexa, then try something else. In the long run, I’ve now quit smoking cigarettes, and a full month off caffeine trying to get rid of headaches and there must be light at the end of the tunnel. The Celexa was good for a while, but it ended up just causing another kind of headache and also some seriously weird stomach issues that I was very very tired of. So maybe Lamictal will be better.

If not, theres still Lexapro and Wellbutrin to try out and if I get real desperate I guess I could even try Prozac…. I had really hoped quitting drinking coffee would do it… but hell, at least my teeth are whiter! 🙂

In other news, work is going great, even though I had to work through a massive headache in June, I have still managed to be over 120% of quota every month and therefore making some great money. I head to Cabo in a few weeks so that should be a blast and I’ll be sure to hit up some AA meetings while I’m down there. It will sort of be dangerous, I’ll be hanging with old friends who all drink and party still but I figure I’ll just go from the airport to the clubhouse that supposedly speaks English and then head to the hotel so I have an escape route at anytime. I’ll also have my cell phone at all times so shouldn’t be too tough , and the place looks like a dream come true, Barcelo. I deserve it, I’ve worked hard the last few months and taken care of a lot of debts.

Maybe I’ll come up with some new book ideas, the beach always does that to me!

Jared Bryan Smith

Post Interferon Syndrome vs Celexa 20 mg – 90 days in… thereabouts…

Posted: April 14, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
6

Lets see, that has to be about right, maybe 60 days because I guess I started taking the Celexa at the end of January and now we are rounding mid april so probably 70 days or so. The great news is that I rarely have the major stop me from functioning headaches anymore, taking the pain level from an easy 8 or 9 to a most days nothing at all and when the headaches do return it is a mild 2 or 3, not the all encompassing pain I experience full well half my days for so many years Post TX. Is it the medicine, or perhaps just the amount of time now finally getting on close to 4 years post TX, I really can’t say but I’m too scared to try and stop taking the medicine. I’m much less manic, much more focused and consistent and I’ve been outperforming at work and doing well. Save a couple of emails from disgruntled cheap shot customers, lol, in one I called my VP of Sales the price Nazi and since he was out I could offer an incredible price and the stupid customer sent it to my boss, the little pain in my ass, I was called in and reprimanded. Since when is Nazi a bad word… Oh well, who cares, life goes on.

The major downside of Celexa I’ve noticed though is that I’m not as driven and or motivated if you will. I’ve written almost nothing, nothing in the blog, books, barely anything in my own personal journal. I do my job well enough, even put in the extra hours for fear of being laid off yet again in this fickle economy, but as far as extra curricular, the gym, the blog, the meetings, I have been barely getting by.. And the meetings. the thing that has literally held me together the last five years, well I will be honest, on Celexa, while I still go, I don’t really feel like I get as much out of the meetings as I used to, don’t feel as compelled to share, and don’t leave with the sense of accomplishment and well being that I used to… now it’s just a blah feeling… but no headaches. Hard to weigh the pros and cons. I mean I’m not going to stop taking Celexa, I simply can’t. But there is a lot to be said about losing the drive to write, work out, or go to meetings and be passionate….

Also peeing. Urinating and orgasms, now take effing forever. Sometimes I’ll have to pee really bad walk in the bathroom and sit there for five minutes just waiting and waiting… weird side effect. In addition my super regularity is gone, as you could have timed the stock market on my morning movement prior to Celexa, and now, who knows, sometimes its a few days, sometimes its daily, which is strange for me.

Are those symptoms things worth the headaches being gone? Hard to say. I guess I’ll keep on keeping on, grateful that I’m cured of Hep C and alcoholism, or daily reprieve or what have you, and just be glad that something, anything was able to treat the headaches at all… for if this thing treats them one way, perhaps Lexapro, or Wellbutrin will treat them another, and I owe it to myself to explore those ways as well. Hope is better than despair I suppose, and headaches for years was starting to get a bit desperate for sure.

I’m grateful I’ve found something, but am definitely open to the possibility that something else may treat them better, and this time at least it will be nice to know I can fall back on the Celexa, should the headaches return. Also I may as well use whats working for a while at least, or hell for economic reasons at least wait until Lexapro has a generic.

– Jared Bryan Smith

Post Interferon Syndrome – Headaches and Celexa (Citalopram)

Posted: March 4, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
2

So I made the move back to civilization from the mountain house, and I’m loving the new apartment and the new job. More than anything, all the fear wrapped up into not being able to perform at the new job is beginning to dissipate as the Post Interferon Syndrome headaches have been so diminished with the new meds. After Interferon I was so shocked to have that brain fog penetrate through and destroy my quality of life for many years after I stopped Interferon. I mean it sucks even worse because the doctors won’t admit it’s happening, blame it on other things, and tell you such idiotic things as, “Just take a multivitamin” or when you tell them about your symptoms kind of look down their nose at you and state “Well, if you say so.” I mean it’s quite remarkable really, how online you can find multiple people suffering from an almost universal diagnosis, and then go to three educated doctors in a metropolis like Atlanta, and have your General Doctor, your Gastroenterologist and your Neurologist, all basically say Interferon has no lasting side effects, so this must be an anomaly or just in your head, or even that you’re being a hypochondriac to the point you almost question it yourself. But I wrote about it, I journalled and I was even able to stop working for a while, move out of the city and see if it was allergies, pollution or something I hadn’t thought of, and the headaches persisted. I was still, 3.5 years later suffering from brain fog type headaches at least 66% of the time, which made selling, or making cold calls very tough if not impossible. So in 2012, facing a new job, a highly micro managed job, I was really scared I wouldn’t be able to perform because of the headaches. Two or three weeks into it, I was still suffering 2-3 days during the week, so almost out of hope, I decided to take a scientific practical objective look at what meds might possibly do for me. This is despite my being a member of Alcoholics Anonymous and opposed to being on any mood altering substances. I had tried anti depressant while I was beginning Interferon and I had been so early in sobriety, I felt like it made me more squirrely and even so uncomfortable that it made me think of drinking more often, and trust me at one year sobriety, I wasn’t in a position to be flirting with that possibility. Especially as I was just starting my battle against Hep C, the disease which attacks the very organ my liver uses to process alcohol. So my attempt at mood altering substances, or anti depressants had gone so bad I just was afraid they would make me want to drink again, but at 5 years sober, the headaches practically making me an invalid, I finally decided, hell or high water, I would give several different substances, 90 days or so, give them a fair shake and see how much better or worse I felt, just so longed as I didn’t drink or drug, it was worth the experiment. I’m glad I did.

It’s mind boggling how well Celexa works in combating my constant headaches. I mean it just doesn’t make sense it’s so effective. The first week or two was weird as I was adjusting but after I got over the hump, I mean to tell you the brain fog headaches I would rate as an 8 or so, fell down to around a 2, and the frequency of around 66% of the time or 2/3rds of the time walking around trying to function in pain has been reduced to around 1/10th of the time. They also gave me Prodrin to combat the migraines, the other kind of headache that actually significantly went away when I quit smoking 2 years ago, and it’s basically caffeine and a ton of Tylenol, but that too does the trick on that particular kind of headache. I am just so grateful I held out and waited, and found something that finally worked. I will give this another 90 days or so, or maybe even after that explore other ones to see which one I function the most highly on, but this is like a minor miracle to me, because I was suffering for so long, in so much frustration and pain, and I thought it would never end. I still don’t understand it. Could it be I was so depressed, or so chemically imbalanced it actually caused physical pain to my brain. I mean that looks like the case but seems far fetched and unlikely, however, I am not a chemist, a doctor or even educated about such things. All I know is it killed my headaches, made my life functional again and I am grateful.

I was written too by someone recently stated they had to go back on oxys because of their post interferon pain, and let me tell you man, I can relate. I was an opiate addict for a long time, and I write about that part of my life significantly in my book Hippopotamus Sea, however, I am not going back to that shit, ever again. Not saying I haven’t been tempted over the last 3.5 years though, I thought about it at least once a week for sure. It just isn’t an option for me anymore, I’d sooner eat a bullet. Just like any drug, I need more and more, for less and less effect, and it’s what caused all this bullshit to begin with. I’m not ever going back to that, and if you’re suffering I beg of you to quit the opiates and try Celexa, for some reason it really helped me with my post interferon symptoms. Opiates and drinking, relapse in general is not a viable option, period the end. Other than catastrophic surgery and taking the meds with sponsor supervision, we with the disease of addiction can not flirt with pain meds or drugs effectively, and even with the Celexa, I was in constant contact with my sponsor and letting him know exactly what I was trying, and he was aware of every decision I was making. Accountability is key in sobriety, and no matter the pain, there is no excuse to going back to opiates, drinking or any kind of narcotic. With us to use or drink is to die.

That being said, I do still feel a bit anxious from time to time on Celexa which makes me want to try Lexapro because I hear that it has an anti anxiety portion, and now my mind is much more open about the capabilities of these meds, whereas before I thought it was a block to your higher power, and the sunlight of the spirit, now I’m glad my headaches are gone regardless. Actually the Doctor had suggested Lexapro, but they didn’t have it in generic, and therefore the insurance company changed my prescription, or rather made me call and get the Doctor to change the prescription, which in itself is news worthy. Who the fuck gives the insurance company of none doctors the ability and power to change my medications, solely based on cost. I mean, it’s really an outrage. They say Lexapro will have a generic within the year though, so I’ll just continue on Celexa, record the symptoms, and then compare once I switch over later on.

I am still glad I found a baseline before using them, but I mean, Post Interferon, meetings and step work just wasn’t killing the headaches like it killed the urge to drink early on for me. Everything happens for a reason I suppose.

– Jared Bryan Smith

Perserverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another. -Walter Elliott

Posted: October 1, 2011 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
0

They say perseverance is the principle behind the 10th step, and those are some of my favorite promises the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous:

And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone-even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality—safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.
Alcoholics Anonymous pp.84-85

I’ve found those to be 100% true. And that is the real miracle of all of the entire process. I sometimes forget who bad the obsession was for me when I first came in, and how amazingly different my state of mind is now. How thankful I am.

2011 has thrown me many curve balls. I’m still learning to cope with some of them. I can still question why God would bring my emotions to such an incredible pinnacle, only to have the rug pulled out from under me, on so many different aspects of my life. Perseverance is not so much of a trait as just a dogged necessity. In the steps. In life. And for damn sure in business.

I’ve had multiple recruiting companies in the Atlanta market over the past 10 years and the last one i sold for a small amount and folded up shop about two months before the crash of 2008 as I’d anticipated some rough waters ahead and I was right. I’d just finished with Interferon and I was tired. My mental functioning suffered quite a bit after Interferon as well and that was a major concern, that I’d hoped time would fix. It has to some degree, but I’m still operating at maybe 70-80% of where I was prior to beginning Interferon treatment. Had I known that I definitely would have waited until it was necessary to treat my Hep C, because I rely heavily on my intellectual faculties, as we all do, and now I’m slowly but surely coming to the realization that they aren’t coming back. Not to where they were prior to treatment. My photographic memory, and razor sharp quick wit are simply gone. Perhaps though, that adversity will sow the seed of success, making me become more resourceful, and more dependent on technology and a better way to recruit.

And so, 3 years after folding up shop on my last company, Seek And Employ, I have restarted another recruiting company in Accounting and Finance, but also this time I shall recruit for IT Positions as well. So many of the company owners I knew through the recession had diversified, that I think that will be a good strategy to prevent the company from grinding to a halt should another recession hit the market. I could have survived 2008, but I thought I’d find job security in working for others. 3 years and 3 layoffs later, I realize, we create our job security. Once you’ve owned a company it’s hard to go back to work for someone else I’ve found. So perseverance.

I start my 4th recruiting company in the Atlanta market, lol. 4th times the charm right? God I hope so.

Books4free has been an interesting side project, and I’m glad I finally have it operational. One day I’d like to come back and spend some more time writing, but for now, with my son 3 years from college, I need to spend some time building up a war chest for him, finish out paying my child support, and not make any major foolish mistakes while I complete the mission of raising my son, staying sober, and launching my new recruiting company. Yes, there will be sacrifices, and yes recruiting isn’t as exciting as software sales, marketing or humping the hills in Afghanistan with a Colt Automatic machine-gun, but there is no shame in being an entrepreneur who in just a weeks time has several Major Fortune 500’s agreed to work with him, and though lackluster, and not as thrilling, I am grateful I have the opportunity to represent such major companies and just go get the job done, recruit for them, and hit my goals.

And so I create daily habits, check lists, for the monotony of the recruiting business day cycles. Wake up, shower, work out, coffee, linkedin, recruit, certain number of calls, repeat. Day in, day out, persevere until you hit your goals. It is very lucrative, and habit makes it easier, it’s just doing it that is challenging. Get rid of distractions, turn off facebook, yahoo, and only blog on Saturdays will be the new rule. Focus, take advantage of the time given, and capitalize on it. Be the captain of your ship, the master of your own destiny, and make it happen!

And persevere. Remember all things are temporary. This too shall pass. Do the next right thing, do it well, and have faith that you will succeed. In sobriety, in business, and maybe one day even in love. Stranger things have happened, but right now, just focus on the goals at hand. Nothing else matters, but starting the recruiting biz now.

Writing, publishing books, etc. all needs to take a back burner. No need to take it down, just need to focus on restarting my career back up. Everything else will fall back in line once that is resolved. I literally have a finite dollar amount that is reachable and scalable, that I could hit in the next 3o days and be done with my legal responsibilities for child support… forever. That is amazing. That is sobriety. Close to 10k more, and I’m done for life. I mean, 5 years ago, 8 years more of child support sounded like a long frickin time, but now, it’s right around the corner. And conceivably I could hit those numbers in the next 90 days if I really stay focused. And whats more, I know they could really use the help right now, and how amazing would it be if I could pay them a lump sum all at once. That is my goal for right now. Get this recruiting company going, help my sons family out, and reinvest the rest back into the company to then pay off the car.

None of these dreams would be even close to possible if I were still drinking or using. One of our favorite arguments while out there used to be, “Well I’m not hurting anyone else, only myself.” It’s such a fucking selfish ass lie. When you tell yourself this blatant bullshit you’re not taking into consideration all the good you may potentially be doing instead of the harm. You erase the pain you cause those you love around you, the worrying, or even hell just the lack of family time you’d be spending, and that time, it never comes back. It’s gone forever. I know cause  both my parents are dead and buried. If I could have an hour back with my mom, sober… man I would give anything. But I’m fortunate still, to have finally woken up before I’d burned out the good years of my adult life. I’m now spent almost five years sober, doing good, instead of harm. Helping instead of hurting, and now I’m on the precipice of being able to help my family out much much more, because of my sobriety. Nothing would be possible without that.

Thank you God for my sobriety, my amazing family, and all my friends in AA. Perseverance pays off dividends like you wouldn’t believe. Please give me the strength to succeed in this business as never before, learning the lessons of the last three, and give me faith to believe that with you all things are possible.

Hang in there, the tide will go out again, the seasons will change. If you are bored just wait, everything changes and nothing on God’s green Earth happens without a reason.

-Jared Bryan Smith