So after a year of interferon treatments for Hep C I was still in almost constant pain after a year of not taking the poison. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful that it worked and all, the Hep C is gone, etc. but man headaches for a full year after the even more brutal year of treatment was no fun. In an effort to isolate the cause of the headaches I decided to become a non-smoker, as my sponsor told me to tell myself. So far so good, but damn, I wasn’t prepared for the massive headcold that apparently accompanies one’s efforts to quit smoking cigarettes. Jesus, I mean it hits you hard and fast. Three days after I became a non smoker my head was one massive lot of gunk. To combat this I ended up taking some Sudafed, and not the pussy kind they sell over the counter, the kind that actually works, where I have to provide my ID, swear I’m not making meth, etc. Good lord, I don’t know if I’m just ubersensitive to pseudophedrine or what, but I felt like I was on the bad side of a coke binge for the entire time I was on the sudafed, for like 3 days. I ended up taking it Tuesday, 2 pills, Wednesday 2 pills, and then Thursday, it was the worst day I’ve had in almost 3 years of sobriety. I woke up, chewed a bunch of nicorette on the way into work, and took my 2 sudafed, but around 2 pm or so rememebered we had dinner plans with the CEO of our company at 7 pm at his Mansion in Buckhead, the ritzy part of Atlanta GA, down the street from the Governer’s mansion. So, being the genius I am, I figured I would need to take more sudafed. I took an additional 2 at 2 pm, and then again at 6 pm or so, and low and behold, by the time they sat me next to the boisturous and dynamic CEO of our firm, I felt like I was wired, like it was the tail end of a 3 day coke or meth binge. It’s been 3 years since I’ve even had a sip of alcohol, and man, that’s the most fucked up I’ve felt in that time. I prayed about it, got through it all, went to a group conscience after dinner, and swore off Sudafed for life.
After I slept it off, I actually woke up with a low grade headache, not unlike what I remember a hangover to be like. What the hell is pseudophedrine anyway, that by changing a few molecules it turns into meth. How the hell did they sell that shit over the counter for so many years, its insane. Does it have some opiate or amphetamine derivative. Man there is something behind the chemical make up of that shit that relates poorly to an ex drug addict, and it should be studied, I’ve not felt worse in my entire sobriety, and people should understand that chemical relationship. I know normal people, or Earth people, don’t have that same reaction to sudafed, so why does it make me feel so cracked the hell out? Weird stuff.
I may have a headache today, but I don’t care, I’m never taking Sudafed, Claritin D, or anything with pseudophedrine again. My chemical make up is too sensitive, and maybe I did that after years and years of abuse, alternating chemicals and what not, but there is nothing worth those side effects in a recovered alcoholic like me.
Still no smokes though. Day 7, at 5:00 it will have been a week! Woot! I remember when I started smoking 20 years ago thinking, I wonder what it’s like to be addicted to something. Well, I’ve been addicted to everything under the sun since that philosophical juggernaut, and can honestly appreciate, that I no longer underestimate, my lack of power when it comes to addiction. At least now I know though, and at 32 can move forward from this, and make better choices. 7 days is a good start to no cigarettes, just follow the instructions, 3 months on the 4 mg, 3 months on the 2 mg, and then stop, all the while working up your cardio and exercise capabilities so that when you do ultimately quit the nicotine completely you have an outlet in exercise. Not to mention, get rid of the 30 lbs of gut I gained when I quit drinking. Haha, people say they’d expect you lose weight when you quit drinking. Not when you drank like I drank. I was down to 140 on a Crown Royal and amphetamine diet, and I’m 5’7″, so I needed the weight back. Just probably not 30 lbs of it. haha! Life is good, anyone can start over.
-JB Smith
JB Smiths Blog - Author @ books4free.com 