Posts Tagged ‘Alcoholics Anonymous’

Wow, even my stepdad was impressed I was able to get on newstalk1160 this Saturday and Sunday from noon to one. Too bad my stats show that the only blog of mine being read is the one about Anthony Kiedis and Johnny Delirious, haha, or perhaps I’d be doing a little better job of promoting it. It’s all good though, it’s just a good first start, hopefully Gus Cawley will let me back on Technology Cafe to explain the Free Books on books4free.com idea in a little more detail, as well as go into length about the subject matter and unique story of Hippopotamus Sea: My Viral Sobriety. No matter what, even though I feel like I bombed the beginning of the interview, it’s still free publicity, and that is just free advertising.

So if you read the saga/blog of yesterday, you may find it even more humorous, that after all of that adventure, I found myself back at Phipps Plaza yesterday afternoon, repurchasing, on my now third visit to Tiffany’s, the silver locket with the number 6 on it, so that I could give to the girl I’m madly in love with… I told her friend I was a moron as I was walking back into the store, and she eloquently put it “No you’re not, you’re just in love. It’s crazy.” Yes it is. For someone with less than a year sober, and going through a tough divorce, my girls friend has really got a good head on her shoulders, and I owe her a big thanks for the gift advice, but also in just all her kind words as me and the blond have gone up and down, up and down. She could have crucified me, and instead told her friend nice things, and I’m grateful she is in both  my girls life and mine. So yeah, I couldn’t even get home before I’d texted her the picture of the Tiffany’s box. she first played like she was upset I got her something, and then admitted she’d gotten me something too. Haha.

Here’s the thing though, it wasn’t for Christmas as we’d discussed. I got hers for her six months, and she got mine for my 4 years. The thing is, she got me a little model of a sailboat with the inscription on the sails “We can’t change the wind, but we can adjust the sails.” It’s quite literally the most  thoughtful gift anyone has ever gotten me in my memory. Nobody in my mind has ever taken the time to know what I like,  or get something for my office where I spend so much time. It was really amazing. I’m humbled and grateful to God she was put in my life. Even if the whole thing goes south tomorrow, I’ll be grateful just for having met her. It was an awesome gift, and exchanging them with her was more fun than I can remember in recent memory.

So yeah, today, the 24th, is my technical and actual 4 year anniversery of picking up a white chip. I’ve already picked up  a candle and a chip though, I just couldn’t wait. I used to be superstitous about it but at 4 years I feel pretty confident I won’t relapse by having picked it up early. I think I’m going to pick it up early and often from now on, eff being shy, I’ve earned it!

So yeah, tune in tomorrow on http://www.newstalk1160.com/shows/weekend-hosts under Gus Cawley’s show “Technology Cafe” where I plug books4free.com. I didn’t get a word in edge wise about Hippopotamus Sea but I at least mentioned the website books4free.com twice. Maybe that’ll spike a few book sales, we shall see!

Merry Christmas everyone, and thank you all my AA family, I could never have done any of this without you!

-JB Smith

So the initial book launch has begun to fade, and with much stress I’ve watched the title go from top 50k, to under 100k, to 200k, and now is floating somewhere around 400k top books. Which is really still sad if you think of about it considering I’ve sold only around 30 copies or so. So now the real work begins it seems.

Getting the book to reviewers, getting those 30 readers to leave Amazon reviews, making sure Amazon lists it in proper medical categories, under Hepatitis C, Addiction, alcoholism etc, all very important. And then of course writing a decent press release, getting that press release and then hopefully a Press Kit into the hands of editors, producers, etc….  All it will take is one good hit, but it may be hard to do without the aforementioned reviews, and so , again getting the book to recognized reviewers will be crucial.

There are services that will do that for you, ranging from $250 bucks to 1500, but being unemployed, having spent every dime on the http://www.books4free.com launch and not being well funded, books4free is going to need to really begin rolling up their sleeves and getting it out there.

Fortunately his pain, followed by a solemn oath to avoid love again indefinitely, should definitely free up his calender…

-Jared Bryan Smith

Wow, the print on demand arrangement still being pondered, as I wonder why they would claim on my splash page on Amazon that there are only 3 copies left, and to order soon, they throw fuel on the fire with yet another jaw dropper. The book is now for sale, not at the 24.95 I set the price at months ago, but for 17.96.

This is well below their wholesale cost on the entire book, and though I get it, would have been nice to have received an email from the publisher, Books4free.com, but I’m sure he’s too busy golfing, fishing or dating bipoloar women to keep me posted… He swears he received nothing, but who knows.

The point is that Amazon owns his ass and they can set the price wherever they like, whenever they like, and do not have any need to keep him or the author informed. Fortunately books4free.com assures us that it’s actually a good thing for our customers, that the price is down, and though it eats into Amazon costs, we will receive the same pay out per book even though its below cost.

That is where I call bullshit. What lightning source should tell have told us is that most likely Amazon has bought a bulk of the book, since it’s selling well, and hence, gotten that bulk for a cheaper cost, probably saving something like 7 or 8 bucks per book. Which basically means Lightning Source is overcharging books4free.com and myself, something in the neighborhood of 10 bucks a book as there has only been about 20 or so sold, and I bet that’s the cut off for Amazon to actually stock some books. I bet at 100 there is another bulk pricing break.

It would really be nice to be privy to all this information going in, but alas, we are not, and learning these ropes as we go along.

In the meantime, I guess we should just be grateful that the cost is done to 17.96 per book, 7 dollars cheaper than the list price we set, and go ahead and advertise on Facebook and wherever that it’s on sale! Better than a 7 dollar increase I suppose.

Now if said publisher would just stop dating crazy women, maybe he would have the time to get me on some radio and television shows like a proper publisher! Some habits die harder than others I suppose.

-Jared Bryan Smith

What the hell… I seriously thought this was Print on Demand. How strange. Also, how in the hell do you change a subtitle in Amazon to reflect that the book is about Hepatitis C. Grrr… When you search Hepatitis C books, mine is nowhere to be found, because I used an artsy title instead of a factual one…. so I tried to change the subtitle with more than a few keywords, and they freaking rejected it.

So, I, the author, don’t have authority to change my own subtitle. Maddening.

Not that I liked the title, the most unartistic, mangled drivel ever, written soley for the purposes of Amazon’s search engine… still I was proud of the amount of keywords I crammed into 200 characters…alas it was rejected:

“Current value: Hippopotamus Sea
Your suggestion: Hippopotamus Sea: My Viral Sobriety, or How I Beat Hepatitis C, Addiction, Alcoholism, & Interferon by Working the 12 Steps of AA, Alcoholics Anonymous, & Recovery Stories of Drinking, LSD, & Cocaine”

* Please do not add descriptions to the title. The title should be as it appears on the book.

Well ya know what Amazon, how about you stop trying to sell Hungry Hungry Hippo to my NOT INTERESTED IN HIPPOPOTAMUS customers, you over digitized, zealous, taking the art out of writing demons!!! But I digress… I shall return in a better mood later.

At least we’re back in top 100 recovery books again… introducing another problem, how do I get classified under Hepatitis C Books?

-Jared Bryan Smith

So the momentum is beginning to slow down as the facebook crowd who were awaiting books, are now reading rather than ordering I suppose. At the peak the book was in the Top 100 Alcohol and Recovery books, ranking at #67, but unfortunately I don’t know how many books that is in that given hour. On the overall ranking it’s maxed out at 32,000, which isn’t bad considering there are millions of books on Amazon, but now that it’s back in the 100-200k range, I’m scared to see where it will be in a week. Moving forward reviews, word of mouth, emails, and networking will be more influential than facebook. Guess I need to start sending to reviewers.

The book chronicles being born into alcoholic family, rebelling, dosing LSD/Acid very young, and raising hell through his teenage years, stealing, running away, wrecking cars you name it, until he finally settles down however briefly to have a son, and play family for a few years, however poorly the execution. After divorce at 22 he picks up where he left off, raising cane again, and really doesn’t even begin to slow down as his mom lies dying of cancer. After she’s gone his drinking takes on new sincerity and the challenge I really took on is towards the end of the book where I do my best to explain madness and insanity, delusions, and paranoid schizophrenia to the normal, “earth” person as we recovered alcoholics refer to the unafflicted. It’s hard to explain the color red though to a blind man, and I wonder if anyone will understand the enormity of my massive, intricate, detailed derangement. All I could do was try and explain how lost I’d gotten, how lost I stayed for so long, and how far I’d come back. It’s not a short journey, but given the number of people, just in our class of 1996, that are now dead to alcoholism, addiction  or something related, it’s a story worth reading, and worth understanding, as the solution, the 12 Steps of AA, can work on really any spiritual malady, but most especially addiction.

If the AA 12 Steps could work on me, who went to the edge of the abyss, looked in and had the abyss stare back in, invade and pay rent for years, it can seriously work on anyone. I really wrote the book I wish I’d read when I went to pick up a Million Little Pieces by James Frey. I wanted some hope, I wanted a story as dark as mine, detailed and honest, and messy with guts and humiliation, and something bigger than myself. When I lived that firsthand, I felt it was worth writing, and though a little long, as I’m beginning to hear back, it’s worth the read. If you think it’s long reading, thank God you didn’t live it!

-Jared Bryan Smith


Well the book launched yesterday! I was very excited as I didn’t realize it was basically automatic from the acceptance of the proof with Lightning Source. I was putting pressure on my graphics designer/web designer who was basically stalling and putting it right back on me, which drove me a little batty. So I was thinking books4free was going to have to call LSI, which is always a pain in the ass, and find out how to connect LSI and Amazon together. Thankfully it was all done automatically.

Hippopotamus Sea; My Viral Sobriety, written by me, Jared Bryan Smith, 2.5 years in the making, and it finally launches on 10-10-10, a sheer coincidence. Chronicling a 17 year drug and drinking binge, sobriety,  the 12 Steps of AA in their modern workings, haha, as well as, of course, the contraction of Hepatitis C, the insane costs of the treatment without insurance, the charity given by Roche, and the grueling Interferon treatment itself, it’s certainly a book anyone in recovery would appreciate.

It doesn’t sugar coat much, and cuss words are modern, and used liberally. Anyone who has Hep C, isn’t going to be offended I suspect, but it may not penetrate the staunch religious aspects of AA as some are very averse to cursing. My God doesn’t speak English exclusively so he could care less how many times I drop the F bomb. I didn’t cross the GD line though, haha. It’s a good book, regardless of anyone’s delicate sensitivities. I couldn’t write honestly and not cuss a little.

So as of yesterday my best ranking was in the top 32000 on Amazon, but today, Monday, we’ve drifted back to about 75k, so my brother just bought 3 copies to test this theory, see what happens. Very strange as a publisher books4free can’t just go and look up exactly how many copies they’ve sold, but I guess they probably just haven’t figured that out yet. I suppose books4free should call LSI regardless just to see how to do that.

I’m glad the book is up though. I used a technical editor, and in all honesty it wouldn’t shock me if later on down the road I ended up getting an editor specifically attuned to working on autobiographies, to get rid of some of the name dropping, probably crop some pages, but at this stage, it’s the very best I could do with the tools, resources, and time I had at hand. Especially the money. I would have saved thousands going through Lulu.com or any Vanity Publishing Press out there, but we wanted to use my book to launch books4free.com. We’ll see how that all plays out moving forward  I suppose.

So go take a look please, if you haven’t already!

http://www.books4free.com

-Jared Bryan Smith

My mom died of Cancer in 2004, and 6 years later, I have 3.5 years sober, and owed her an amends. Not the kind one can make in person though, but a living amends. As I was advised, a letter.

For several reasons I document in the book it took me no less than 5 tries to get to her headstone and be able to sit and write for a couple of hours. Having finished the amends, it felt anti-climatic, if not a touch depressed.

Though I cleared the Hep C virus in 2008, and went 6 months without treatment, was then tested, found negative and thus declared Hep C negative, I went and got another test on Friday, just to be sure as I go to publish with the book, in the next few weeks, and it would be nice to say it’s been 2.5 years without the virus, instead of just that six month test. I guess what I’m saying is that I’m nervous about that test, regardless of being pronounced cured 2 years ago, and that visiting my moms grave, after 6 years of absence was more than a little emoti0nally taxing.

Visiting my Dad’s grave, who shot himself with a .357 when I was 11 years old, was usually filled with more anger, and self righteousness, than visiting my moms, which brought up guilt and depression. Oh well. I’m sure I’ll get good news next week from the gastroenterologist, finish typing up the amends, and thus the end of the book, get the cover back from the graphics designer, and launch the site books4free.com finally as I’ve been patiently awaiting the finalized book to launch, and I’ll have accomplished a goal I set in motion over 10 years ago, I never knew would have taken me down this road, facing Hepatitis C, alcoholism, addiction, Alcoholics Anonymous, and living life on life’s terms, but here we are.

Life is an adventure I suppose. The living amends to my mom is good, I believe it ties the book up nicely. I’m glad I did it, but it was damn emotionally taxing, like most of the book. Reminds me of a quote I read about writing years ago.

“Writing is easy; I just open a vein and bleed.”
— Red Smith

Funny I could have sworn that quote included a typewriter. Damn google, it’s probably a misquote, feel free to respond with the original origin, but you get the gist.

– JB Smith

I did it. After almost two years of writing my book about Hep C, and hell, 3.5 years of thinking about the story, I decided to google the competition out there and see who else had written stories involving Hep C, and of course, as the challenges are so parallel, sobriety. I don’t know why I was so reluctant to see what was out there, other than, I just didn’t want to be discouraged by seeing like Hemingway’s surprise Hep C autobiography I’d never known about or something, and I just wanted to knock it out before I looked. Anyway, I found some stuff out there, but nothing that blew  my socks off.

First and foremost, you have Anthony Kiedis’ Scar Tissue, a great book I’ve heard, as he’s the front man for the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and God knows we’ve all heard, Under the Bridge Downtown, and can hear the description of his pain as he shoots heroin for the first time. Surely we can expect him to have had his own Hep C struggles, and of course the sobriety struggles that go along with it. I love one of his quotes I just found because it is exactly what happened to me regarding drugs and alcohol:

“You know I love pot, and I love beer, but I am totally sober, just because it completely stopped working for me.
Anthony Kiedis”

Man, I remember hearing that in an AA meeting before it happened, and thinking, What Bullshit. But whoa, what fear descends upon the madman when it occurs. Of an addict for 15+ years, when that day comes that the drugs and alcohol quit working, you will feel fear, and loneliness that few others ever experience. Your best friend of years disappears instantly, and you can’t imagine life with or without drugs and alcohol. I say this is my book, but it remains one of my favorite quotes: “Most of God’s miracles, first felt like a punch in the gut.” Eventually I would be grateful for that day, but I digress. So Anthony Kiedis had Hep C, wrote an autobiography, and says some pretty good shit about sobriety and Hep C. However, a lot of it was rock star, elite, Pie in the Sky treatment that Joe America simply doesn’t have access too. He says he beat it with a controversial treatment called Ozone gas, which is presumably, painless, miracolous, and just as effective as 48 weeks of hellish painful Interferon Treatment. My only objection here, is that if you ask your Dr., any major Gastroentologist in the United States about Ozone, they will laugh it off, or claim the expense is too high, that it isn’t FDA Approved, or just say that the only thing that is medically recognized to cure Hep C is Interferon…which is by the way, expensive, painful, depressing, and maddening. It’s like saying well, the common man has to take Chemotherapy for Cancer, but I, being a pompous rock star, was able to take nitrus oxide, and laugh away my disease.

“And finally yes, it’s true that Anthony Kiedis has hepatitis C. He contracted it somewhere along in his escapades and it is believed that it was caused by the drugs.  He is combating the infection with ozone administered by flea’s and his personal nurse Sat Hari. Ozone is a “wonderful-smelling” gas that has been used legally in Europe to treat everything from strokes to cancer. Most of this information can be found in his biography “Scar Tissue”.”

A wonderfully smelling gas. Interesting. I wonder how true any of this is? It’s all legal in Europe huh? If this is the case, why does the US not use it. Maybe I don’t know shit, and it’s a huge conspiracy against Americans, but as an American I was given one option, by my medical Dr., to defeat Hepatitis C, and that was Interferon, and though it was painful and hellish it did seem to work. After 6 months the disease was clear from my system, and after 2 years, I’m going in today to get it checked again, and hopefully will receive the same result. Hep C free and clear. I’ll ask my Dr. about Ozone today.

The other book I was able to find out there was written by “Johnny Delirious, Hepatitis C, Cured, who claims, from what I could tell briefly that he beat the disease, which he was diagnosed with in the late stages and given 8 months to live, with only homeopathic means. Ie… vitamins and sunshine, and positive thinking. Quite honestly his site links to so many sites charging for Homeopathic cures, you can’t help but think that this guy is just marketing to a demographic already susceptible to delusions and pie in the sky instant gratification solutions. I wonder how much money he’s made selling this book, and/or linking back to all the homeopathic solutions, that have absolutely no medical validity, and my MD claims are bullshit. Milk thistle? Gimme a break. This Virus will attack and kill your liver, and some dipshit is out there selling books about refusing a liver transplant and beating the disease on his good karma and GNC pills. Gimme a break. No I haven’t read the book, and no I don’t plan on it. I don’t know about Ozone treatments or homeopathic cures to Hep C, just as much as I don’t know how to moderate drinking or drugs. I got into this mess, taking short cuts, shooting for the angles, instant gratifications, and feel better cures, and the only way out of the hole I dug for myself, was the long ardous road of Interferon that an actual MD, speciliazing in the liver, suggested I take and whom laughed off, Ozone, and or Milk Thistle, and the other bullshit he offers on his website…

Also, never take medical advice from a guy whose last name is Delirious. Just saying. Maybe it worked for him, I haven’t , and won’t read the book, but for the average, Hep C infected addict, alcoholic, your options really don’t include Ozone, and or Vitamins and Milk Thistle. Follow your Gastroentologist’s advice and take Interferon. It’s tough, but it works, and these other cure alls are just that in my opinion.

On the other hand if Ozone does actually work, and the medical community has kept it out of the states, for profitability reasons or something that sinister, then Shame on them. Interferon changes you for life. If there were medical data, and access to Ozone, like rock stars apparently have, I would recommend it be the new treatment, but I have to assume, the United States, with the best, most educated Dr’s in the world, have a better reason than profits, to keep Ozone out of the US, and Interferon as the major treatment for this debilitating disease. I don’t know, but it just seems really strange, the only two other books out there, offer these fairy tale, delusional options, that weren’t available to me, or any of the other Hep C patients I’ve met here in the States. I guess, that makes my book original then. Unless of course, you are a rock star, then call Anthony Kiedis, he seems to have access to magical gas that smells great.

Please take a moment to read about my  journey through insanity, addiction, Hep C, Interferon, and AA on http://www.books4free.com and check out the strong reviews on amazon at:

-JB Smith

So, as we get ready to launch books4free.com with my book about surviving interferon treatment, I happen to stumble across a link to a potentially better, and hopefully easier way of defeating Hepatitis C.

http://www.anadyspharma.com/products_in_development/ANA598.html

I guess it’s still in Phase II, and I won’t pretend to know what that means, but it actually is being lead by the Duke Doctor who replied to me while I was going through treatment. His website and comments gave me some hope as I was finishing up the treatments in Spring of 2008.  I also just happened to stumble across another article mentioning a third drug, on top of the ribivirn, interferon treatments, that increases the odds of being cured even more… called telaprevir. Very hopefully, interesting stuff. I went to a Hep C funeral last week, so if they could improve the cure ratios above 50% it would mean a lot to a lot of people.

http://www.wral.com/lifestyles/healthteam/story/7386301/

This definitely tempts me to talk to this Dr. some before releasing the final version of the book, as anything I can add to give hope or information to Hepatitis C sufferers is an asset to the book…. just when you think you’re finished huh…

Oh well, a little more research and work couldn’t hurt the overall success of the book long term, and this is just too exciting of news not to include. Looks like they were preleminary trials but still, worth writing about!

Additionally found this older article:

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/06/090605112257.htm

Worth reading, hopeful stuff!!!!

-JB Smith