Posts Tagged ‘NA Blog’

Kindness Regardless – The Challenge of Ego

Posted: February 20, 2011 in Uncategorized
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For years and years I jumped at the excuse for a fight, and a grudge, hell I collected those. Having had a spiritual awakening though, and being relieved of the obsession to drink and drug, and having turned over my will to God, I know for damned sure he doesn’t ever want me to be angry, resentful or aggressive in any manner… ever. Knowing these philosophical laws and acting accordingly are two entirely different things though. Still in all the literature, both AA, and New Testament, ridding ourselves of anger and resentment is a cornerstone of our new found freedom.

In the Big Book, on page 66 it says:

“If we were to live we had to be free of anger. The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. They may be the dubious luxury of normal men, but for alcoholics these things are poison.”

A few years ago, and this is something I removed from the book, a friend of mine and I moved in together after I had finished my year of Tx, or Interferon treatment. I was literally evicted from the abandon house the month my TX treatment ended, which was a miracle in itself, but regardless, I was tired. Sheerly exhausted after a year of hellacious low level chemo for Hep C, and I just moved in with him thinking our long term friendship, from the time of kindergarten, was enough of a reason to trust him. I did it in spite of my sponsor’s advice, and despite the fact that he was still using drugs and alcohol moderately. All of those signs should have been ominous red flags, but in the program you just have to live and learn. It turned out, as my sponsor and network assured me it would be, to be a fricking disaster. He would get drunk, scream and yell at me and generally get both verbally and physically abusive. This was a guy I used to fist fight when drunk all the time, but I had about two years sober and was being told that wasn’t the way to handle things. So I would find myself walking away from my own home, into the night, as I’d done when I was drinking and drugging a lot and after about three or four months of this domestic drama I’d had enough and plotted a way to move out. I did so, one weekend, in a hurry, because otherwise it would have been dramatic and I’d had enough of the confrontations. After being successfully moved in to a new apartment near my work and starting a new job, he called several times, freaking out on me, saying he’d signed a year lease on account of having a roommate, etc, which I’d never agreed to, and also that I owed him some money, roughly 200 bucks for utilities. I said I would pay him at the end of the month. He told me to pay now or he’d call the CEO of my 25 million dollar company and tell them I was an ex heroin addict, had Hepatitis C, and in the end he said, nobody wants a junkie working for them. I called his bluff and a day later I was called into HR’s offices and confronted about being an ex junkie, and Hep C survivor, as if that was anybody’s business. I denied it all, but was actually fired for no reason, with the top sales numbers in the company six months later. When I walked out of those offices, I walked to my car, more like a quick march, and I prepared to go find this supposed friend of mine I’d known since kindergarten, and proceed to fucking kill him. On the way there, I heard a voice in my head tell me that I should go to a meeting instead. I went to the meeting, and like infinite times before I heard exactly what I needed to hear, that anger wasn’t acceptable for an alcoholic, and that I had to be rid of it. And so I prayed about it. I’d spent years in anger before. The beauty of alcoholics anonymous is that I had a network of men I could talk to about my anger, and within 24 hours I had completely, 100% forgiven this man for trying to get me fired, and ultimately freed myself of the resentment within 24 hours. When I was in my disease, I held onto resentments for years, even decades. This program taught me how to forgive, and be a useful servant to those suffering, because angry, who can I serve? Only myself.

Matthew 5:44

“Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be the sons of your Father in heaven…if you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even the pagans do that.”

Funny how so much program stuff and Christianity go hand in glove like that. It is common to love those that love you, it is much more challenging to love those that have wronged you, or whom do not like you, but are not they God’s children as well? And especially in AA, where we want the hand to be open to newcomers at all times, under any and all circumstances, it is crucial to forgive, forget, and love everyone, no matter what, period, the end. Pride and ego make it easy to forget this fact, but that friend that called my boss those years ago, whom I forgave, has since reached out to me about quitting drinking. Had I hated him, or worse been aggressive and violent as my initial gut reaction screamed for, I could have closed that door of useful service, of being able to be a hand of AA. Thank God I was taught how to forgive, and thank God my resentments don’t rent space in my head anymore.

And even when it can seem unfair, Pauls words in Romans help me as well:

Romans 5:2:

“And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character, and hope.”

Basically it is easy to give lip service to forgiveness. To being kindness, regardless of all circumstances, to turning the other cheek if necessary, and  being able to be of service, to everyone at all times. Just as Christ taught us forgiveness, the program teaches us that anger is the dubious luxury of normal men.

My ego, and pride can flare up and say something like “But then my kindness is misinterpreted for weakness, or naivety, or worse cowardice.” But as even Ghandi, who was not a Christian said ““The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” 

Ego deflation though, is critical to all spiritual progress, as humility is the cornerstone of all spirituality.

So what if it hurts my ego. Suck it up cupcake. You can not let your light shine on the world, be happy, joyous and free and be angry at the same time. To be of maximum service of God, you absolutely must forgive yourself, and all others around you, all their transgressions, real or imagined.

– Jared Bryan Smith


Gregg Allman – Hepatitis C – Liver Transplant – Interferon – Dirty Tattoo Needle…really Gregg? You’re a rock star, who cares.

Posted: February 2, 2011 in Uncategorized
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Gregg Allman was always one of my favorite musicians, and I used to love getting drunk and high going to Allman brothers shows. Recently I found out he too was a Hep C survivor and had actually had a liver transplant done as well. This article I found on the internet though, is fucking laced with inconsistencies about Hep C, treatment, Interferon, and the like, even calling Hep C an STD which it is clearly not. I have first hand proof that it isn’t, having knocked up a woman years and years ago while still in my active addiction and disease, who then had an abortion, but never got the Hep C that I was carrying back then, thank God I’ve been cleared of it. But surely if it was an STD it would have spread during the conception of a child, but it didn’t. My liver doctor told me of multiple cases of man and wife being married for 20-30 + years and not spreading the virus via sex, and yet major news outlets like CNN can still report it as an STD, just blatantly disregarding facts, and common accepted truths in the medical community. Hell even the AMA took it off the list of STD’s a few years back, and here is all they say about it:

“HCV is transmitted primarily through large or repeated direct percutaneous exposures to blood. In the United States, the relative importance of the two most common exposures associated with transmission of HCV, blood transfusion and injecting-drug use, has changed over time. Blood transfusion, which accounted for a substantial proportion of HCV infections acquired >15 years ago, rarely accounts for recently acquired infections although the risk is not zero. In contrast, injecting-drug use consistently has accounted for a substantial proportion of HCV infections and currently accounts for 60 percent of HCV transmission in the United States and a high proportion of infections continue to be associated with injecting-drug use.”

There article is completely devoid of any STD talk because it is proven not to be transmitted via semen, saliva, or other fluids, only blood…

But because it was mislabeled in the beginning of it’s discovery, the rumor and confusion persists, and even educated nurses will call it an STD, when it clearly isn’t:

Here are several other links basically stating the exact same facts.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15128350

http://qjmed.oxfordjournals.org/content/92/9/505.abstract?maxtoshow=&hits=10&RESULTFORMAT=&fulltext=Lack+of+evidence+for+the+heterosexual+transmission+of+hepatitis+C&searchid=1&FIRSTINDEX=0&resourcetype=HWCIT

And yet still, a CNN reporter and presumably an editor fuck it up as recently as last summer while reporting on Gregg Allman’s case:

CNN by Deborah Mitchell

Hepatitis C, a liver disease in which the organ become inflamed and dysfunctional, destroyed Gregg Allman’s liver, making him a candidate for a liver transplant. The 62-year-old rock and blues legend underwent the surgical procedure at the Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville, Florida.

Individuals can get hepatitis C through contact with an infected person’s blood. This can occur in a variety of ways, such as being born to a mother who has the disease, having sex with an infected individual, being tattooed or pierced with an unsterilized needle that was used on an infected person, sharing drug needles with an infected individual, experiencing an accidental needle stick from a needle that was used on an infected person, or using an infected person’s toothbrush or razor.

Most people do not experience symptoms of hepatitis C until the virus has caused damage to the liver, which can take ten or more years to occur once the infection sets in. Symptoms may include jaundice (yellowish eyes and skin), swollen stomach or ankles, diarrhea, upset stomach, tiredness, nausea, weakness, loss of appetite, dark yellow urine, weight loss, abnormally long bleeding times, and the development of spiderlike blood vessels on the skin.

Allman began treatment for chronic hepatitis C in late 2007, and his doctors recommended a liver transplant because his liver had suffered chronic damage. Most hepatitis C infections become chronic, according to the National Institute for Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases. Without treatment, chronic hepatitis C can cause cirrhosis (scarring of the liver), liver cancer, and liver failure.

Hepatitis C is not treated unless it becomes chronic. A combination of drugs, peginterferon and ribavirin, is usually used to help slow or stop the virus from damaging the liver. Peginterferon is administered by injection once a week while ribavirin is taken daily by mouth.

According to the National Organ Procurement and Transplantation Network (OPTN), which is operated by United Network for Organ Sharing, approximately 6,500 liver transplants have been performed each year in the United States. More than 15,000 men, women and children are on a waiting list for a donated liver. The details of each candidate’s condition are confidential, although the OPTN can answer general questions about its transplant policy and process.

When chronic hepatitis C results in liver failure, a liver transplant is typically necessary, as occurred in Allman’s case. Drug treatment typically continues after transplantation because hepatitis C usually returns despite surgery.

SOURCES:
CNN, June 23, 2010
National Institute for Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases
National Organ Procurement and Transplantation Network

So yeah, good work Deborah, way to continue to misrepresent and promote an incorrect stereotype, and kudos CNN on letting it slide.

As for Gregg Allman, you amazing guitarist and hero to so many southerners and music fans out there, why come up with this bullshit story? You sing about heroin, we know you were an addict, we aren’t fucking morons. You could have been so helpful to so many people by stating exactly what happened to you, your struggle with Hepatitis C, your liver transplant and exactly how you got it, but instead of manning up and just admitting you were a junkie, you give the world this crap ass cop out:

“Gregg Allman was diagnosed with Hepatitis C in 2007; he suspects he was infected by a dirty tattoo needle. Allman had been on a donor list since 2008.

Look Gregg, I know getting Hep C isn’t exactly prestigious, but who gives a shit, you’re a fucking rock star. Now that you’ve beaten it, how about it? Tell us how Interferon was? Are you still suffering from the after effects like so many of us are? Are you achy, fatigued constantly with headaches plaguing you every other day, sometimes day in/day out for weeks on end? Do you have brain fog, was your creativity affected? We fucking need a voice Gregg, and you and Steven Tyler just brush it off completely. Worse yet is Anthony Keidis and Keith Richards who claim to have beaten it with good luck and charm, and Anthony rambles on about Ozone and some magical fairy dust or gas, but the rest of us went through hard as hell Interferon treatment, and many of us are still suffering from long term effects of it… the worst of which for me is the brain fog. Are you Gregg? Steven? Or do you just feel fine? Inquiring minds would love to know, cause we could really use a voice. The pharmaceutical industry thinks they’ve got a cure, but may I remind you of the Hippocratic Oath. First do no harm. I am in constant chronic pain, and though Hep C free, that sure as fuck feels like harm. What about you Gregg? I am glad you got your liver and have beaten the disease, but come on man, step up to the plate, there are millions suffering, and you could be a really big inspiration to people. Let us know how you’re really doing.

-Jared Bryan Smith

A minor operation is one that is done on someone else – Dr. Richard Selzer (Hep C, Interferon, Pegasys Side Effects Reported to Roche Genentech)

Posted: January 25, 2011 in Uncategorized
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So in the interest of conspiracies and full disclosure, I did just formally complain to Roche Diagnostics, or a division of Roche called Genentech via an 1-800 number and case number *ahem 1462, because I was led to do this by an underground advocate of Hep C and Interferon treatments who are still suffering serious side effects from his Hep C treatment, Interferon and Pegasys, just as I am. So if I disappear mysteriously, let the bread crumbs start here! haha… He also forwarded me the side effects document that I posted on the left side of my blog here under Hep C Side Effects, and I’m grateful this guy is doing something, because 3 years out I am still suffering major headaches, daily and wake up every morning with a crushing pain in my skull, and I have to take 4 advil every single morning. At three years out I’m concerned that this is never going to go away, and in fact has been getting worse as of late.

The more concerning factor is that I’m now not alone, but have been hooked up with a group of at least 20 or so who are all experiencing these major side effects from Interferon treatment. It sucks, and mine, headaches, seem to be on the light side of the symptoms. There are people on this underground list with MS, fibromylgia, chronic joint and skin problems, and more. We’ve read doctors quotes talking about how it seems like anyone who uses Interferon is worse off than when they started. And yet I personally am obviously torn as to how to protest or be letigious, simply because I am cured of the disease of Hepatitis C, which now kills more people than HIV in the United States. So, I’m cured, but I suffer chronic pain. I wasn’t in dire need of Interferon treatment, I could have waited 20 years, but of course as Dr. Hutchinson told me, the young do better than the old, so I guess it does make sense to take the meds sooner rather than later. Especially in my case when you had the tougher version of the disease, which takes 12 months of Interferon and Ribavirin treatment, not just 6 months, and which of course is only cured 50% of the time, compared to some of the less aggressive strains of the virus which are closer to 70%. But had I known about these side effects and the advent of Telepravir which is supposedly right around the corner and lightens the load of the interferon and ribavirin one has to take, I may have waited.

I am very grateful to be free and clear of the virus of Hep C though, and what’s more, Roche actually paid for my entire one year prescription, which would have been 3k x 12, or 36k I sure as hell did not have. Still… my motivation is drained constantly. Fatigue is always with me, no matter how much I work out or don’t work out, and my memory, both short and long term are definitely affected. The irony is that the brain fog I have is so closely associated to a hangover I may as well have kept drinking. I often wonder if I did some cocaine or amphetamines like I used to (which is of course why I got Hep C in the first place) if it would reconnect all those neural synapses or whatever the hell. Who knows. I know a girl who went back out and used Adderall for a while, and she seemed sharp for a little while, but as fate would have it, she just last week got another DUI so there goes that one million and fifty fifth excuse to relapse, drink and take drugs… foiled again! haha….

Anyway, so yeah, I reported my side effects to Roche, though  I doubt anything will ever come of it, and to be honest, I am grateful the virus is gone. I mean I feel better than when I was on Interferon for sure, but what I wouldn’t give to feel sober, healthy and as lively as I was prior to the treatment. I mean it really was night and day, and I wish there had been an easier method of getting rid of the virus.

I wish someone would do an actual scientific study on Ozone, and Anthony Kiedis and Steven Tyler would both come clean about how and why they both choose to treat it differently.

I wish the tests would show that something was different with me, but all my tests come back saying I’m perfectly healthy, and yet hear I am, every single day, brain fog, tired, waking up with a headache and taking more than 8 advil a day. One day science will have something to definitely indicate the differences in patients pre and post interferon but apparently for now, the benefits, or being cured of Hep C, most certainly outweigh the consequences, or dying of hep c, and of course, not having any measurable side effects. Who can blame dr’s for thinking it doesn’t cause differences if here I am feeling like shit all the time, but completely incapable of proving it to anyone.

Oh the quote, haha, that refers to the Hep C, Liver Biopsy or sword inserted into your side, no fun at all, and though considered minor, very majorly painful. Read my book Hippopotamus Sea: My Viral Sobriety to hear my entire Hep C, Interferon, recovery journey through alcoholism, drug addiction, and of course Hepatitis C, and I give it away 100% free on http://www.books4free.com , it aint no scam, just a site that allows you to read my life story for free, and it’s also available for sale on Amazon and Smashwords for very cheap in hard back, and digital on smashwords.

-JB Smith

Atlanta Snowpocalypse – The Stress Simmers – Aint no Sunshine When She’s Gone… just blizzards.

Posted: January 14, 2011 in Uncategorized
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Man oh man… me and my roommate stuck in an apartment at each others throats for 4 days in this Snowpocalypse finally took its toll yesterday when we ended up just straight screaming at each other at the top of our lungs.

So I started the day having to look for a new apartment. Last Saturday it was the woman I told off, now the room mate. I’m doing a fine job of letting my ego paint me into a corner lately. Can’t deal with her on her terms, so I say fuck everything and run (fear) can’t deal with my room mate on his terms, so I do the exact same thing. Fuck Everything and Run. Fucking FEAR.

The day actually started off pretty damn good and I closed a deal. My 5th for the month, I’m selling a text marketing solution to fast casual dining places, and there are residual incomes, so each little deal makes a difference. My goal is to sell 10 a month, and even with the ice storm, I’ve hit my quota for the half month, which aint bad considering the snowpocalypse, breaking it off with her, and now of course the room mate. So at least there is some light in the storm I guess…

But things went downhill from there. I go to the post office to put the check in the mail, because the client didn’t bring his credit card to the closing. Sooo, the post office tells me nothing is moving, no trucks have been there all week, and they have no idea when the trucks will begin rolling again. Before I went into the post office, I brought my leatherbound folder into the Jersey Mikes to try and sell to them but the owner was gone. After leaving the post office, I go out to my car, and I go to open the driver door, and I guess I pulled so hard I ripped my feet out from under me, sliding , really busting my ass, as my leather bound folder flies up into the air, scattering flyers with my biz cards everywhere, all over the parking lot, like a birds feathers in a cartoon after being nailed by a baseball. I cussed up a storm too, “Mutherfucker!!!!” as I’m getting up I see a mom pushing her stroller, all sympathy gone, disgusted at my vile mouth. I humbly walked around the parking lot picking up my flyers, which took a few minutes.

Driving out of the post office, flustered, bleeding, I blow past grandmas and soccer moms driving five miles an hour to haul ass over to Fed Ex so I can get the check to the CEO of my company. I pull in there, drive up to the parking spot, which is closed off on one side by a brick wall and when i go to hit the brakes, they just act like they don’t exist and i fucking nail the brick wall going 10 miles an hour. “FUCK”! I get out and an old lady is staring at me like I’m a moron…either from the cussing or the hitting the wall. I don’t know and I don’t care at this point.

Fed Ex tells me it’s 30 bucks and they can’t guruantee overnight… great, I fill out the form and send it off, bleeding all over the packing slip. I go apartment hunting… they suck, they are ghetto fabulous, and they require good credit and a deposit otherwise. Fuck… I go to pay my ex child support. I go inside to sit down for lunch while I wait for her, and the waiter, who I used to know, over 5 years ago when i drank in the joint at Chaplains, asks me what I want, I say a water, and go to pee. When I return there is a cold frosty beer on my table, a shot of jaigermeister, and the waiter, smiling like the devil. “Man that looks good buddy, but I haven’t had a drink in 4 years, and I asked for a water.” My bad he says. The reuben I ordered wouldn’t have passed quality control at my sons middle school cafeteria… I ate it anyway, and of course it gave me a stomach ache.

I drove down to Little Five to look at apartments where you don’t need credit, away from her, away from my meetings, away from my life, but fuck it, what choices do I have. 75/85 is bumper to bumper traffic. I circumvent it by going all back roads through Atlanta, past peidmont, monroe, blvd, to Freedom, I know my way around. The apartment, where I used to be a dope feign in little five, is still of course, the dump I remembered. Cool location, unique building, but an OCD nightmare, beyond description, lots of paint covering up problems, uneven floors, a kitchen to inspire fasting, I mean it’s not ideal. So I left bummed.

Went to see my client in Atlantic Station whom bought my first order last week, and guess what? She wasn’t there. Bought a coffee drink, but surprise, my check card was declined. Try this one. Also declined. Had to go out to car, did I mention this was my first client, oh yeah, I’m stylin, pray I have enough change scrounged up, which thankfully I did, and finally leave, embaressed and humbled. Get on 400 northbound and there is a wreck. 1 hour later, I make it home.

Man, that’s a shit day, hell I’m afraid to leave the house now. I did close the deal though, and once again, I wasn’t even tempted to drink when it was put right in front of me. That’s God, not me. Still, though I walked through the day successfully, it was stressful the entire way through. And I miss her terribly, but I guess I did that to myself.

Seriously, there just aint no sunshine when she’s gone.

-JB Smith

Books4free.com radio plug tomorrow, http://www.newstalk1160.com/shows/weekend-hosts !!! “Technology Cafe” – Xmas 2010 & The Lady & MY 4 YEARS SOBER ANNIVERSERY!!us

Posted: December 24, 2010 in Uncategorized
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Wow, even my stepdad was impressed I was able to get on newstalk1160 this Saturday and Sunday from noon to one. Too bad my stats show that the only blog of mine being read is the one about Anthony Kiedis and Johnny Delirious, haha, or perhaps I’d be doing a little better job of promoting it. It’s all good though, it’s just a good first start, hopefully Gus Cawley will let me back on Technology Cafe to explain the Free Books on books4free.com idea in a little more detail, as well as go into length about the subject matter and unique story of Hippopotamus Sea: My Viral Sobriety. No matter what, even though I feel like I bombed the beginning of the interview, it’s still free publicity, and that is just free advertising.

So if you read the saga/blog of yesterday, you may find it even more humorous, that after all of that adventure, I found myself back at Phipps Plaza yesterday afternoon, repurchasing, on my now third visit to Tiffany’s, the silver locket with the number 6 on it, so that I could give to the girl I’m madly in love with… I told her friend I was a moron as I was walking back into the store, and she eloquently put it “No you’re not, you’re just in love. It’s crazy.” Yes it is. For someone with less than a year sober, and going through a tough divorce, my girls friend has really got a good head on her shoulders, and I owe her a big thanks for the gift advice, but also in just all her kind words as me and the blond have gone up and down, up and down. She could have crucified me, and instead told her friend nice things, and I’m grateful she is in both  my girls life and mine. So yeah, I couldn’t even get home before I’d texted her the picture of the Tiffany’s box. she first played like she was upset I got her something, and then admitted she’d gotten me something too. Haha.

Here’s the thing though, it wasn’t for Christmas as we’d discussed. I got hers for her six months, and she got mine for my 4 years. The thing is, she got me a little model of a sailboat with the inscription on the sails “We can’t change the wind, but we can adjust the sails.” It’s quite literally the most  thoughtful gift anyone has ever gotten me in my memory. Nobody in my mind has ever taken the time to know what I like,  or get something for my office where I spend so much time. It was really amazing. I’m humbled and grateful to God she was put in my life. Even if the whole thing goes south tomorrow, I’ll be grateful just for having met her. It was an awesome gift, and exchanging them with her was more fun than I can remember in recent memory.

So yeah, today, the 24th, is my technical and actual 4 year anniversery of picking up a white chip. I’ve already picked up  a candle and a chip though, I just couldn’t wait. I used to be superstitous about it but at 4 years I feel pretty confident I won’t relapse by having picked it up early. I think I’m going to pick it up early and often from now on, eff being shy, I’ve earned it!

So yeah, tune in tomorrow on http://www.newstalk1160.com/shows/weekend-hosts under Gus Cawley’s show “Technology Cafe” where I plug books4free.com. I didn’t get a word in edge wise about Hippopotamus Sea but I at least mentioned the website books4free.com twice. Maybe that’ll spike a few book sales, we shall see!

Merry Christmas everyone, and thank you all my AA family, I could never have done any of this without you!

-JB Smith

www.newstalk1160.com – Technology Cafe – Books4free.com Plug :)

Posted: December 23, 2010 in Uncategorized
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We’ll sneak em in wherever we can get em I suppose. 99% of the interview is regarding the new awesome product the publisher is representing PlumReward, I was able to sneak in a word or two about books4free.com, and get a very brief overview of the book in there. With 50,000 listeners to that radio show, hopefully, God willing, that will sell one or two curious books, I mean cmon, 50000 people right! Of course it is on Christmas and the day after at noon for an hour, which probably isn’t the best time on Earth to air a two second plug of a book, but still, a writer can dream.

Regardless, it was cool that Gus Cawley allowed us on the show and then further allowed him to even mention books4free.com when the nuts and bolts of the entire show was PlumReward, the brain child of Jonathan Goodyear, or the “Angry Coder”, Maverick renegade coder of Microsoft with MVP status who has bled sweat and poured his heart in PlumReward now for the last few years, and has an amazing product. It was more than good of Gus to let us pimp books4free.com for even just a second. Hopefully it will lead to more media as well.

I’m so exhausted, I had so much to blog about today, but after hearing about the radio show, picking up a 4 year candle, and hustling all over Atlanta today, I’m exhausted.

Happy Holidays if I forget to get back to it though!

Jared Bryan Smith

Mark Coker is a Genius

Posted: October 27, 2010 in Uncategorized
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Although I keep having to explain to people to press the downloads button to get the kindle version on http://www.smashwords.com instead of on amazon.com, Mark Coker’s smashwords format is a MUCH better alternative than the kindle monopoly at Amazon, period the end, so even if I lose a few ebook sales from people who can’t find the downloads button on books4free.com or who keep going directly to the Amazon page, I believe long term smashwords will be the recognized distributor of most ebooks, so I’m sticking with Mark Coker.

Here is his latest blog, about ebook publishing, definitely worth the read.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mark-coker/the-seven-secrets-to-eboo_b_751743.html

-Jared Bryan Smith

Guerilla Publicity, Reviews, Promoting a book…

Posted: October 27, 2010 in Uncategorized
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So the initial book launch has begun to fade, and with much stress I’ve watched the title go from top 50k, to under 100k, to 200k, and now is floating somewhere around 400k top books. Which is really still sad if you think of about it considering I’ve sold only around 30 copies or so. So now the real work begins it seems.

Getting the book to reviewers, getting those 30 readers to leave Amazon reviews, making sure Amazon lists it in proper medical categories, under Hepatitis C, Addiction, alcoholism etc, all very important. And then of course writing a decent press release, getting that press release and then hopefully a Press Kit into the hands of editors, producers, etc….  All it will take is one good hit, but it may be hard to do without the aforementioned reviews, and so , again getting the book to recognized reviewers will be crucial.

There are services that will do that for you, ranging from $250 bucks to 1500, but being unemployed, having spent every dime on the http://www.books4free.com launch and not being well funded, books4free is going to need to really begin rolling up their sleeves and getting it out there.

Fortunately his pain, followed by a solemn oath to avoid love again indefinitely, should definitely free up his calender…

-Jared Bryan Smith

Amazon Mysteries Abound!!

Posted: October 21, 2010 in Uncategorized
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Wow, the print on demand arrangement still being pondered, as I wonder why they would claim on my splash page on Amazon that there are only 3 copies left, and to order soon, they throw fuel on the fire with yet another jaw dropper. The book is now for sale, not at the 24.95 I set the price at months ago, but for 17.96.

This is well below their wholesale cost on the entire book, and though I get it, would have been nice to have received an email from the publisher, Books4free.com, but I’m sure he’s too busy golfing, fishing or dating bipoloar women to keep me posted… He swears he received nothing, but who knows.

The point is that Amazon owns his ass and they can set the price wherever they like, whenever they like, and do not have any need to keep him or the author informed. Fortunately books4free.com assures us that it’s actually a good thing for our customers, that the price is down, and though it eats into Amazon costs, we will receive the same pay out per book even though its below cost.

That is where I call bullshit. What lightning source should tell have told us is that most likely Amazon has bought a bulk of the book, since it’s selling well, and hence, gotten that bulk for a cheaper cost, probably saving something like 7 or 8 bucks per book. Which basically means Lightning Source is overcharging books4free.com and myself, something in the neighborhood of 10 bucks a book as there has only been about 20 or so sold, and I bet that’s the cut off for Amazon to actually stock some books. I bet at 100 there is another bulk pricing break.

It would really be nice to be privy to all this information going in, but alas, we are not, and learning these ropes as we go along.

In the meantime, I guess we should just be grateful that the cost is done to 17.96 per book, 7 dollars cheaper than the list price we set, and go ahead and advertise on Facebook and wherever that it’s on sale! Better than a 7 dollar increase I suppose.

Now if said publisher would just stop dating crazy women, maybe he would have the time to get me on some radio and television shows like a proper publisher! Some habits die harder than others I suppose.

-Jared Bryan Smith

Only Three Left in Stock – Amazon Says?

Posted: October 20, 2010 in Uncategorized
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What the hell… I seriously thought this was Print on Demand. How strange. Also, how in the hell do you change a subtitle in Amazon to reflect that the book is about Hepatitis C. Grrr… When you search Hepatitis C books, mine is nowhere to be found, because I used an artsy title instead of a factual one…. so I tried to change the subtitle with more than a few keywords, and they freaking rejected it.

So, I, the author, don’t have authority to change my own subtitle. Maddening.

Not that I liked the title, the most unartistic, mangled drivel ever, written soley for the purposes of Amazon’s search engine… still I was proud of the amount of keywords I crammed into 200 characters…alas it was rejected:

“Current value: Hippopotamus Sea
Your suggestion: Hippopotamus Sea: My Viral Sobriety, or How I Beat Hepatitis C, Addiction, Alcoholism, & Interferon by Working the 12 Steps of AA, Alcoholics Anonymous, & Recovery Stories of Drinking, LSD, & Cocaine”

* Please do not add descriptions to the title. The title should be as it appears on the book.

Well ya know what Amazon, how about you stop trying to sell Hungry Hungry Hippo to my NOT INTERESTED IN HIPPOPOTAMUS customers, you over digitized, zealous, taking the art out of writing demons!!! But I digress… I shall return in a better mood later.

At least we’re back in top 100 recovery books again… introducing another problem, how do I get classified under Hepatitis C Books?

-Jared Bryan Smith

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